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Would he be so cruel as to sleep with me, then dump me again?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 April 2005) 3 Answers - (Newest, 26 June 2005)
A , anonymous writes:

My ex and I broke up four months ago. We met up for the first time yesterday, and it was just wonderful. I have never stopped loving him, and my feelings were confirmed when we met up. It was as if we had never been apart and it felt like it used to when we first got together.

He is in no doubt about how deeply I feel for him, but has said all along that we could now never be more than friends, that he does not want to give me false hope etc etc. Well, meeting up for dinner turned into a lot more, we spent the night together and the next morning too.

When I left, he sounded surprised when he said how lovely it had been to see me, and that he would email me. He is not cruel, and must surely know that sleeping with me and then dumping me again would destroy me as he knows how terrible the past few months have been for me.

what is going on?...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2005):

Oh my GOD ! Chicks I have the same problem with a man for 30 years. It started when I was 17 and I am now 45. The story is so long. What are we now...booty call? Mine finally moved out of NY to Florida about 10 years ago. I married someone else just to buffer the pain of this BS booty call, me crying, him lying, him ignoring me, and them the cycle just continued...he even said he loved me blah, blah, blah. Same thing, him with a girlfriend, the chemistry, he went and married some ugly bitch in 1982 OUT OF THE BLUE, divorced her 2 years later...STILL relied on me for midnight booty calls, called me at all hours of the night I always took him in. Began to hate him, sex got bad because of my anger...so long ago... Recently, after 16 years ..stupid me, got intouch with him again through classmates.come He called me at 1 am. GOD ! He said he was coming to NY, that he loved me, that he felt so bad that I got married, blah, blah, blah.. and that he wanted to see me. Never cheated on my husband before. Then, he comes to NY for a visit and WANTED TO SEE ME !!! Liar. He kept saying call me, call me, call me. Then when I called he just wanted to get off the phone. Then when he came to NY and I called him he AGAIN just wanted to get off the phone and when I said I wanted to see him he said he was going home. I told him to LET ME GO. He said leave me alone... He loves me he loves me not. I'm crazy, dizzy, these men are toxic. Imagine, still feeling this crazy after 16 years. Wondering if I'm a masochist. First he says he loves me.....then he fades away. I'm just sick. Worst of all Im married and I still have these feelings. My hubby is the BEST!! Why I would want to let this person in to destroy me again. Girls, it's called ADDICTION. Ohhhh he HURTS SO GOOD.

Spent the month feeling like I was on chemo, crying my eyes out, writing emails that were never returned. After his ohhh it could have been me living with you. I would have taken care of you.. Saying bad things about my beloved husband....SICK me. I was wrong to contact him. No matter what happened in the situation I would have felt like crap. Glad he kicked me to the curb this time.. GLAD he dumped me. Still...my heart was stomped on all over again and the pain is not any less than it was 20 years ago.

Obsessed...Addicted...HORROR. I would say to corner him and that woman and be BRAVE. Tell her to GO AWAY. Embarrass him and her. TELL HER he slept with you the other night. TELL HER that he is YOURS. Don't let time pass, if he tries to dump you...tell him to shut the $%%$ up and get in the car before you cut his &&%%& off. Say YOU ARE MINE !!! You did me and now you are MINE ! Tell the other woman MOVE ON BITCH ! Be bold, brave...DO IT.

Girls....these guys suck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2005):

I know the feeling. My and my ex broke up 7 months ago. I see him ALL the time, as we have the same friends and I chill at his house with him. The only thing is 99% of the time we dont talk to eachother. We act like we dont even know eachother. He has a new girlfriend who is very jealous of me because she knows we still have this chemistry that hasn't gone away. So the only way he can stay faithful is by not talkin to me. I thought I was finally getting over him in the month we didn't speak. Until one day out of the blue he just started talking to me again, like we were friends again, and we never quit talking. About 3 days later when no one else was at the house, we had sex. We have the understanding that we will probably never get back together, but it just felt like the right thing to do.

If you are afraid of getting hurt, I'd definitely talk to him before you do anything with him. Tell him how you feel and find out how he feels. If you are ok with just having sex, then that's fine, but if you want more and he doesn't wanna give more, than having casual sex with him isn't going to be a good thing.

My ex knows I love him still and it kills me to see him with another woman. I think sometimes he thrives off it. When we had sex the other night, as soon as we were done, I just sat there and cried.. All the memories came back, and all the feelings for him I thought I finally lost, came rushing back like a waterfall.

IF YOU KNOW THERE'S NOT CHANCE OF GETTING BACK WITH HIM, DONT SLEEP WITH HIM!! ITS A BAD IDEA

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A reader, REBECCA +, writes (13 April 2005):

Tread carefully! Ask him how he feels about you and if he says just friends, please stand back and accept this!

Sometimes you see someone you were close to once and all the old feelings come rushing back and you want it back to the way you were!

This is probably what happened!

Please ask him and put your mind at rest

Take care

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