| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I recently split up with my boyfriend and it's killing me. i've been heartbroken before (only with a guy who didn't know i existed), and the only thing that made me get over him was when i finally had closure. i got drunk at a party and ended up kissing him-not the most romantic circumstances i know, but after that i could get over him and move on. from this experience i realised that when i fall in love with people i subconsciously set goals, and it's not until i've reached that goal that i can move on. I've realised that with the bf i've just split up with, my goal was to lose my virginity. we had talked about it really openly a lot when we were together, but we broke up before we ever had sex. would it be a big mistake to have a one night stand with him, so i can have closure?
View related questions:
broke up, drunk, heartbroken, kissing, move on, one night stand, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ourchosenpaths +, writes (7 February 2006):
 I'm not going to feed you this feminist stuff that other people are going to try to force at you. If you truly love this guy, and he loves you, then why not have your first time be with someone who you know you would leave on good terms. It's a million times better to lose it to a past love then to get wasted at a party and be taken advantage of, because your first experience could be from some scumbag loser deserving of death as opposed to someone you truly care for.
A
female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (22 January 2006):
 Yes, it would be a huge mistake, one that you could potentially regret for the rest of your life. Your virginity is precious. I say this because most people don't ever forget their first time: who it was with, where it happened, when it happened, and why they did it. Your first time should be special, and it won't be special if you have sex just to achieve "closure" and satisfy past goals. Besides, you shouldn't be setting goals to have sex. Sex will come naturally with the right person when you are ready for it. Why rush things?
There is a great difference between kissing a guy and sleeping with him. That's why I'm thinking that you wouldn't achieve the same closure that you did the last time when you simply kissed the guy. It seems like you want to show your ex what he's missing out on, what he can't have by breaking up with you, and that's fine if that's what you need to do, but there are other ways that you can show him that. For starters, you could try meeting other guys and starting up a meaningful relationship with someone else. He's sure to notice how happy you are without him, and that will surely affect him.
You need to move on. Accept that your ex wasn't the one for you, and be glad that you didn't give him your virginity. Save it for someone who deserves you.
Best wishes.
...............................
|
