A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hello all, my question is would a guy think it's weird that I have no experience? To clarify I am talking to a guy and I really like him and he has asked about my previous relationships but I have never been in a relationship before so I just say that I don't want to talk about it. I know it's dumb but I'm afraid he will think it's weird that I have no experience such as never been kissed or dating in general at 21 years old because I am painully shy. Will he think I'm a weirdo? Thank you for your time.
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female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (2 December 2013):
No, he will not think you are a weirdo. He may think that your total lack of dating experienec is unusual... because unusual , it is. But unusual does not mean a weirdo- kooky- loco- loony - sociopath :).
There are actually a lot of very normal reasons for not having dating experience, like not having found the right person to be with yet, or having chosen to focus on studies and other stuff, or ...being very shy. I think that the guy will assume that the reason behind your inexperience is still in the realm of acceptable human behaviour and not in that of weirdness.
If you are so unlucky to chance into that rare someone who thinks you are weird - ditch him right away, he's not a person who gets what you are about.
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (2 December 2013):
I'm of the wrong age to answer this question, but I have some related answers that will be helpful for you to think about.
It is not so weird fort a person of your age to have never been in a relationship. These days men your age and younger are very reluctant to date. This lowers the chances for dating to many girls. There is plenty of hanging out but very little dating. Even when I was your age many young women simply hadn't been popular enough to have dated by 18 or 21. Not out of a lack of desire always but out of a lack of invitations.
What I am saying is that there is nothing unusual about your situation. What exists now that didn't exist then as a new stigma to virginity. It is leaving a lot of girls in your situation with acute embarrassment to the point that they pretend to past experience that they don't have.
My advice that may be difficult is to be honest about it. A guy needs to make adjustments based on your experience or he may unknowingly offend you.
FA
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 December 2013):
I think you should be honest with him it's the best way to start of knowing someone. If he thinks you are weird then by all means cut him lose.
I don't think there is anything weird in not having dated at 21, it may not be COMMON, but not weird.
You are who you are.
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