A
male
age
30-35,
*oncreatmilkshake
writes:I have come to University and in my first year. I have met this person (male) and I feel we get along very well. But over the last 3-4 months (ive known him for 6 months) I constantly worry about him, what he is doing and always want to be around him. I also have dreams about this person regularly which are often sexual. Even though I am bisexual, his looks are not what attracts me to him. I also get jealous when he is with other people but I have learnt to control my emotions. We occasionally talk personal matters to each other as normal friends would, but I feel I might be coming to fixated to him and fear it may spoil our friendship. Does anyone know what I might be going through and how I may control my emotions?
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male
reader, concreatmilkshake +, writes (15 May 2010):
concreatmilkshake is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAll of these comments have given me alot to think about. After speaking to my physchology teacher from old school, she suggested that i might be in love, but I couldn't understand how you can be inlove with a friend, but apparently you can.
This guy is moving in with me next year with a large group of friends, not sure if this was wise or not but im confident it will do me alot of good.
I have tried to explain this to him, he seemed to take it fine, but not sure if he thought it was weird or not. But he still treats me like any other friend would and im grratful he gets along with me really well to, ive just got to be careful not to get jealous of his other friends.
Many thanks
A
female
reader, goodfriend +, writes (14 May 2010):
There is no easy way to control your emotions other than spending time apart from this friend. Even then, it is very painful. If they don't share your feelings then you risk losing the friendship, and that is a huge risk! You would feel terribly hurt and even more jealous then.
I think your fixation on him could ruin the friendship for sure. But the way to solve this to protect the friendship is easier said than done. The solution? I don't know, but to save yourself a lot of hurt and pain, try your hardest to overcome it now before you lose your friend. Good luck, hope it works out for you :)
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A
female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (14 May 2010):
 I confess that I'm wholly unqualified to dispense advice in gay or bi relationships. But honestly, this sounds like good ol' fashioned infatuation to me. I suspect that as long as you conduct yourself as a genuine friend and not a deranged, infatuated stalker-type then you'll soon be able to determine if you're besotted or only temporarily intrigued. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, missyd  +, writes (14 May 2010):
it's occuring to me that you might be in love with this guy. the jealousy, the worrying, and dreams.. you know you can't control love otherwise everybody would.
Love is not predictable and if he's looks aren't the one you fall for usually it doesn't mean anything.
You always have a type, with precise standard, and you might find someone who fits but who maybe not for you in the day to day.
Sometimesyou don't look for love, you let someone in and it happens. like what you always was looking for is right here.
Try to see how he feels, if he sees you as a friend or maybe more.
Controlling your emotions? honestly you can try to act casual, like everything's normal, but it's not a solution. especially if you're in love.
You will feel frustated at some point.
If you're in the same place see how it is going, but if he doesn't share your feelings, you should put some distance.
If not your gonna be hurt.
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