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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Im a 24 y/o female and recently got into a relationship with a 32 y/o guy. I really like him alot and want this to work out really bad. Problem is I'm worried that my weight will be a turn off, plus I've only ever been with one other guy and I really want to be able to please and satisfy him as well. I realize doing it in the dark might help me. Help! we've made plans to spend the night together next weekend! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): If he is turned off by your weight he is obviously not the one for you! You need a guy that likes you for all of you, not just parts. And that includes all your flaws. So if he is turned off by your weight, his loss. He's missing out on a great gal!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): If this guy compliments your figure and appreciates your body and mind and shows u in ways... youll have nothing to worry about behind doors. He will love you and wont even care about ur looks or even lack of experience. In fact, he will appreciate you havent been around the block and are more meaningful than most women. Head up :)
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female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (21 March 2011):
Dont be worried. You've decided to spend a night next weekend, so is he suddenly going to realise your body size then? You mean he doesnt know your size already? Is he blind or something? My point is, he already knows your size and he's satisfied with you, that's why he wants a relationship with you, so be confident! And dont have the lights off because confidence really turns a guy on. You'd be surprised how girls you wouldnt consider very attractive actually sell like hot cakes to men. Why? Because they're confident and love their bodies. What more with you-to him you're not like any other girl, you're beautiful!Im not saying your concerns are baseless however. Im a big girl and i was really uncomfortable getting naked in front of my b/f for the first time but he just totally adored my body and it turned him on so much, and the way he kept telling me how beautiful and sexy i am, it just boosted my confidence. And now over a year later, he still cant get enough of me!Relax, everything will be great. He's aware of your size and he's really excited to get together with you. I really would love to hear how it went so if you dont mind, do kindly come to this post and update us, or send me a pvt msg. Have fun!
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reader, cupidus  +, writes (21 March 2011):
 Lets get the weight off the table and look at a couple of other things.
You recently met. Mmmm should a sexual weekend be planned before maybe oh I don't know, mini putt?
You want to please him, strange, I don't hear how he wants to please you. Did you have that conversation yet?
What about monogamy, was that covered along with the STD package deal?
Not that you have to fill us in on any minute by minute narrative, but it seems your insecurities about your body are making you take a risk that you're not emotionally ready for.
Why go there? Are you ready in your head?
What do you think he'll say if you cancel without reason?
Are you hoping this will keep him in a RS with you?
Are you about to use sex as a bargaining tool or are you really wanting to investigate your emotions and insecurities with this man? I wouldn't go there unless I was 100% certain he had my best interests covered. This could go one way or the other way, your taking your chances and possibly not making safe judgements. I really don't think your RS is solid enough yet to take chances with your self esteem. Do it right, do it well and don't let others do it for you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): ..You are already treating(believe) this guy like he is the prize in the relationship when it should be the other way round ie you being the prize...If you really want this to work love yourself, know your worth and work on your self esteem...Dont not present yourself as secondary in the relationship otherwise he will eventually treat you as secondary in the relationship..As for your weight if you are not happy with it , do something about it but do it for yourself...There is nothing more attractive than a confident woman who loves herself
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): I think my lack of experience is making me so worried about what is going through his mind. Like I said I was only ever with one other person and he would put my weight problem down, so I guess thats on my mind too. This guy isn't like that though, he's a great guy so I really want him to be happy.
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reader, SweetindianGirl +, writes (21 March 2011):
listen, hes older he wwants to settle down i dont think hes looking to fool around, so dont worry. he clearly chose you as a great person to spend his time with and so you are. dont feel insecure.
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reader, dmartin89  +, writes (20 March 2011):
 Well, as you're in a relationship, I assume that you two have met face to face. There's only so much that clothes can hide, unless you are a magician he already knows what size of body you are. He's most likely fantisized about you naked, and he isn't thinking of you as a skinny/chubby girl, he's thinking of your soft skin, beautiful curves and the way you move when he pleasures you. In the end, unless he's really boring and shallow, guys don't care about the extra bit of cellulite and a spare roll around the hips. Have you thought that you are his perfect woman and that he might actually be worried about impressing you with his penis size and is wondering whether to wax hid body hair or not or whether you like neck kissing or hate it or if your really tickly in certain places or not. Tl
Trust me, he's worrying as much as you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): Right. Guys love a girl with confidence. I had this same problem the first night I spent with my man, I've always been concious of how my body looks, but with him I forgot about it, and he tells me that he love my body. Even the skinniest of girls have some part of their body that they hate. And having sex with the lights on will turn him on even more, and keep him mind on your moves, not the bit of your body you dislike.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): Maid Marian has nailed it spot-on. Go shopping for a cute little something, if he's in a r/ship with you it means he likes you!
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reader, AgonyLaura +, writes (20 March 2011):
Hi there, Don't worry!
The first thing I will say is that in my experience guys don't think the same way about these things as girls. Girls tend to analyse more and pick things apart - she might say well I like him but.... I wish he were taller, liked different music, had green eyes, where as guys tend to take girls they like as a package. They don't think well shes really funny but needs to some weight. I think they are much better at accepting girls as they are than we give them credit for!
Girls are also much more critical of themselves than anyone else is. So remember that you are being harsh on yourself.
If you feel a little bit shy or nervous next weekend just tell him. He will probably find it quite sweet/flattering.
In conclusion, I really would not worry about this. You have met a guy you really like and who has made plans with you next weekend. I would concentrate on being excited and enjoying yourself rather than worrying about something that probably really is a non issue for him! Your a lucky girl. Have a nice time!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2011): Buy some sexy lingerie that makes you feel sexy and delicious! :) I like satin nighties when Im carrying a bit more weight, they skim and shimmer and just make everything more smooth and silky and there are no bulges or squidgyness that makes me self concious! :) Thats my tip, and if he likes you then he likes you for YOU! :D
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