A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend broke up with me in July and at first I tried so hard to get him back and to make things work. Then I read a lot of advice that told me to cut contact with him and get out of his life so he could miss me and that way I would stand a better chance of getting him back. I did this and he has gotten in contact again, but said to my friends that I seem fine and that he can't believe how ok I am with everything! I don't want to appear like some heartless bitch!! But I don't want to be that weak whiny person I was either! Help!
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female
reader, purple_butterfly  +, writes (18 August 2009):
patience is the key..let time pass by and youd get the answers to all your questions... :)
if he tells you he misses you and does something to show you how important you're to him, then you will know . and then it would be worth it to be back..
Just hang in there my dear.. I know its hard..
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI still love this guy so so much. And I was expecting things to get easier as time went on but I just miss him more and more every day. I just don't know if he misses me:(
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A
female
reader, purple_butterfly +, writes (18 August 2009):
you know what?
good job. I know how hard it is to not keep touch with sumone who really like/love and you made him get in touch with you again after a while, which is good.
Now see, it wasn't you who broke things off. It was him. and don't worry, you wont seem like a heartless bitch because you weren't the one who broke it off with him. IF he asks you, as to why youre just keeping your distance and staying away, just tell him that the break up was hard on you and youre trying to get out of it. Try to keep your conversations very short and leave him even more confused. You dont have to sound okay coz you`re definitely not okay. Just see how it goes. dont completely ignore him like meet him if he asks, talk if he calls. But dont act and talk nice like before. Close down so much that it leaves him with a lot of space to think about you and get confused.
I have tried it and it works
i hope it helps :)
God bless
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A
female
reader, jessjess  +, writes (18 August 2009):
 I once read a poem with the line 'falling in love is glamourous hell'. I've never read a truer line. You need to ask yourself how your feelings have changed since you broke up. I think you did the right thing to give him his space rather than lose your respect by begging him and acting needy and clingy. That must have taken willpower and strength so kudos to you. So now you've had time apart- do you still want him back? Or, if you ask yourself truly, are you actually doing better than you thought you would without him, like he thinks? If you are meant to be together, you will be together again. If he's starting to realise what he's lost, he'll find a way to let you know. That is if he really cares. If not, don't waste your time, and don't just get back with him because you can. Ask yourself what's best for you. Remember that sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together. I had that experience last Summer when I finally got together with the guy I'd liked for aaaages, only for him to tell me that he didn't want a relationship, 'just a bit of fun'. I wanted the opposite. However, I wasn't about to act all pathetic for a guy so I deleted his number and texts and vowed to move on with my life. A month later one of my best guy friends asked me out. I'd sort of liked him for a while too but wasn't sure if I was mistaking the signals. We've been together a year now and I couldn't love him more, or be happier. Just try and go with it....what happens happens. But keep control of yourself. It sounds like you're doing just that :) If you want to regain contact, start it off slowly. Just be friendly. Don't be cold or heartless, but don't jump back into things over-enthusiastically either because that will lay waste to all your hard work so far trying to get over him. Good luck.
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