A
female
age
36-40,
*anz
writes:I am 20 years old and have been with my 32 year old boyfriend for a year and a few months now. He has an ex wife and 2 children, a girl who is 10 and a boy who is 6. The ex wife used to sms him alot and send him picture messages of girls bums ectand of the children and say to him she wanted to talk to him for the childrens sake,she denyes shes got a new boyfriend to my man even tho i have seen her with him. she is always in our face, when we have the kids she calls them to see how dad is and how he is treating them. She is also taking him for all she can. I know she is sly and i feel i have to be around when she is dropping the kids off beause she will try to talk tohim. i know i cant handle his past but i do love him and i want some help to try to deal with it coz at the moment i cant stand thinking about it, and i cant handle if im not around him when i no she is bringing the kids to his place. please help
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female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (30 August 2007):
 Cant he get a guy friend to go with him? because it sounds like she means she doesnt want you there? Shes being unreasonable expecting him to carry heavy things on his own and im sure in the eyes of the law they would see it like that too.
C xxxx
A
female
reader, Danz +, writes (30 August 2007):
Danz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really need some advice with this one... My partner went to court last week to settle the house with his ex, while he got the bad end of the deal it got sorted! butttt all his belongings are in there back shed, he needs help to move big benchers and tools and things like that but his ex has stated that ONLY HE IS ALOUD TO COME PAST THE LETTER BOX TO GET HIS THINGS. What do we do? he needs help and im not willing to let him go inside without someone else, whats her motive of that?
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (21 August 2007):
Thats pretty much what i was saying though, she will have to talk to him, they have kids together & always will have. The communication book wont go on forever, they will have to communicate properly eventually. Can you cope with that?
She is here to stay. Its a like it or lump it thing. Why should you even be there when they sort out the house business? Thats between him & her. There are going to be lots of times things are between him & her & quite rightly so. Those children are the most important poeople in all of this. Someones children will always come first.
If he isnt interested in her personally, i wouldnt worry about it though to be honest. Whats the worst she can do?
She will soon meet someone new & it will all work out.
You need to just let them sort it all out. For those childrens sake.
Hope it works out ok.
C xxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Danz +, writes (21 August 2007):
Danz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your replys, 2 of the replys said i need to find sumone my own age or without kids and an ex. Believe me i didnt set out to find him. I met him out he told me he was 26 after 2 weeks i found out about his past and by that 2 weeks i alredy started to have feelings for him. I cant just leave him beacuse of his past i mean eveyone has a past. I just need help to deal with his ex. tomorrow they have to go to court about the house, I cant go in the room its just the 2 of them and there lawyers, I cant stand to thing bout it. I know she will try and talk to him beacuse thats what shes like, and she says oh its only for the kids buttt why dose she bring in her personal life, and y say to me oh im glad ur sleeping with him. whats her game? i really need help dealing with her beacuse my ex dosnt want to ttalk to her and to be honest im sooo glad. They have a commiunicaton book about the kids so that they dont talk but she still trys. please if anyone has anymore advice:)
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A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (18 August 2007):
Hi
The sending rude txt is out of order, but obviously he needs to keep some contact with her because they have kids.
Blokes (and women) that have kids, really need to avoid getting in relationships with younger people that dont have them, because it can be annoying, and when you have kids with an ex, you know where the land lies & are more accepting of it.
I prefer guys with kids as i have them too!
If i was 20 i would avoid older guys with kids though.
He needs to tell her to quit with the rude txt though. She might be the mother of his children but that doesnt give her a hold on him. Or any right to try n come between you two. As your guy he should be standing up for you.
Hope it works out for you.
C xxxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): you need someone your own age, or someone who doesn't already have kids & an ex wife. Don't you want to start a family with a man who has never been through it before with another woman? It is very special. Does he ever want kids again? Do you want kids?
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A
male
reader, matt1167  +, writes (18 August 2007):
i think you should juss tell ur bf that its bothering you cuz the same thing happent to me but i wasent married and when my gf told me that she dint like it i told my ex to lay off then the call stoped
hope i could help
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