A
female
age
30-35,
*rincessSarah
writes:I am 18 years old and have been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years. However, I have known this other man for 6 years over the internet. We've met up before and it was amazing, although nothing happened, I feel like I've betrayed my boyfriend. I always flirt with this other man daily on msn and we have both said that we love each other and want to be together, his friends all like me and we spend hours on the phone. The only problem is that he lives about 200 miles away! I feel content when I talk to him but I also love my boyfriend. I have kissed 2 people while with my boyfriend on drunken nights out and I've regretted it every day since and he knows about it. My boyfriend is nice and I get on well with his family and friends but sometimes I can't stand him because he's so immature and to make it worse, he's very sarcastic and it's hurtful. Whenever I feel sick of him, I speak to this other man and he instantly makes me feel better. He said that he wants me to be happy and if that means I stay with my boyfriend then he's happy for me. I have dumped my boyfriend a few times but it's never lasted for more than a day. I love him and care for him deepy. he knows about this other bloke but I tell him that I have no feelings for him and I don't like him but he likes me. I've been deliberating over this for the past 2 years and I'm sick of it. Please help me.
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drunk, flirt, immature, msn, the internet Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lexel +, writes (22 April 2009):
End it with your boyfriend, there is obviously nothing there. As for this other person, if things aren't going to progress then maybe it's best just to ditch all the 'love' talk and keep him as a friend, it will will only makes things harder in the long run.
A
female
reader, PrincessSarah +, writes (22 April 2009):
PrincessSarah is verified as being by the original poster of the question thankyou for your advice. but i love my boyfriend and i forgot to mention hes no angel either
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A
female
reader, Original shiraz! +, writes (22 April 2009):
It seems you know the truth deep down, it doesnt make you a bad person to fall out of love, it does if you dont let the person know how your now feeling. The way you describe him is almost like you have made your descion, if you see no future with him and your moving on then just let him know, its hard to let go but youll hurt him more unless you do. 2 years is to long, to lie to another person as well as yourself. Dont deny your feelings, you know the truth and how you feel, its about time this guy did.
Your only noticing more of his personality and the negatives as its like you want to find fault as a way out? Theres no shame in that but dont force him to change to what hes not only for you to move on and leave him, which i think you need to do to set you both free.
You use this other man as your get of of jail card, hes there when it gets bad, hes the opposite of your bf, hes all you want but your bf is unaware.
This time let him go, make it last more than a day, i font think you love him any more.
Youve had a relationship thats run its cause and now all the faults are being highlighted as you want to get out.
You no longer feel how you once did, the relationship probably ended a long time ago yet youve grown so used to it you see it as normality and so you reluctent to give it up, your really need to if you want a future.
Do it for you, your new man but more importantly let him go for him. Best of luck
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (22 April 2009):
 Dump your boyfriend! You obviously don't love him and are just using him as a comfort blanket till you find someone you actually like.
I can't believe you are calling him immature, when you are off kissing and flirting with whom ever you like!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): Well if your behaviour is making you unhappy, stop it.
You are being dishonest to both of them. You say your boyfriend is immature but you maybe have to learn some maturity too. The fact that you have already cheated on your boyfriend maybe means that it has nothing to do with this other guy who, it seems, you met on the internet when you were only 12.
If you love the other guy, find a way to make it work. If you love your boyfriend, stop being duplicitous and cut things off with the other guy. How do you think your boyfriend would feel knowing that you only stay with him because you can't physically be with the guy you really want to be with? That he is just the best you can do for now?
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A
male
reader, MrBrightside90  +, writes (22 April 2009):
Hey there,
quote; 'He said that he wants me to be happy and if that means I stay with my boyfriend then he's happy for me.'
Do you really believe this? I think this is jut a man trying to get something he wants (you), and targeting you when you are most vulnerable.
And its nothing more than healty that you cant stand a few thing about your boyfriend, no one is perfect. I bet you would get irritated by that internet bloke too, if you dated him.
anyway, do you love this other guy?
xoxo
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2009): i feel sorry for you, but you have to realise that 1 is real love and the other is probably sympathy/lust/infatuation. Its impossible to love them both at once. which one of them are you constantly thinking about? who makes you feel more good?
another thing is, meeting someone over the internet is a lot more different than meeting someone in real life, i met my bf over the internet and its never felt like we have.
you need to meet this guy more regularly before you can make a move.
xxx
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