A
female
age
30-35,
*elfling123
writes:I work in a prison as a librarian and seem to have fallen for a prisoner. He has told me that he likes me. I just don't know what to do. He's out in 6 weeks and seems very geniune about the possibility of us. I havent given too much away to him as to wether i am interested as i don't want to lose my job and i don't want anything turned against me, but i just can't help the way i feel. I know that if i tell anyone close theyll tell me i'm an idiot and should find someone better and more worthy of me, but i kinda think that as long as i like him and am aware of what i'm getting myself into (also i am aware of why he got himself in prison in the 1st place)i don't see a problem, but i can't help but feel i'm doing something wrong. i'm also quite a strong believer of the saying 'if you don't try it, you'll never know' - which makes me justify it in my head and heart fine, but i just know id get so much grief off my family if something were to happen. Help! Can anyone give me an honest opinion? i'm just so confused with terrible heart ache
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female
reader, kirra07  +, writes (17 October 2010):
Proceed with caution. Ideally the correctional facilities are so that people can come back and learn from mistakes. So people do deserve second chances, depending on what happened. Still, if you do pursue a relationship with him, there will be many more problems from the onset. He will have a record, affecting his work opportunities and social life. You very likely will get a lot of flak from family, friends, etc.
A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (17 October 2010):
 The heartache you feel now is a thousand times better if something were to happen to you later. We all fall in love numerous times, and many times just wasted energy. It doesn't matter if he's a prisoner at all, if you have a feeling that it's not right, then don't go ahead with it. All he did was show interest and you feel like you are taken by the reins. He's a prisoner. He's supposed to sweet talk you because 1. he is starved of affection and has the blue balls 2. he needs an anchor in life to help him find housing, job, or whatever resources for him to achieve the next "big dream." So what a good way to kill 2 birds with one stone if he can convince you that he can be a good husband. I bet if he stays at a hostel he would be talking to a young girl the same way he talked to you. I know it feels rewarding to help someone, but you should give priority only to those who are worthy of it. There is a book called the sociopath next door. It says one in five people is sociopath. Many sociopaths only live for the moment, even if their impulsive actions land them in jail. I don't really know the difference between sociopath and psychopath, but you don't want to end up with either one. And, they never change.
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A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (17 October 2010):
 if he killed,raped or kidnapped someone...RED FLAG.
Umm, if he gets too personal tell him you want to keep things professional since you work there but u wouldnt mind catching up sometime when he gets out.
This answer will show him two things
1) You are not some love struck puppy who is so desperate that is willing to jeopardize her career.
2) You do give him a chance of meeting up after he gets out which is polite and does imply you kinda like him.
if he REALLY likes you he will grab the opportunity.
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (17 October 2010):
 Please go to this website and read about psychopathic men and how charming they are.
For God's sake don't go out with this man, he's in prison that should be all you need to know. You are probably a woman with an excessive amount of empathy for others and sociopaths or personality disordered men can smell you a mile off as an easy target to be used and abused.
Absolutely not, no man....saferelationshipsmagazine.com
read the Sandra Says articles, order the online books and learn about how psychopaths ruin your life and how they get their hooks in you.
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A
female
reader, radiolay +, writes (17 October 2010):
 You should base the future of this on what he ended up in prison for. Petty: Green Light, opposite: Red Light. That's just my opinion :)
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