A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ladies, I'd like to hear from you how you feel about height as it relates to attraction. Is it a non-negotiable for you that your man be taller than you are? What about when he's taller than you, but not taller than you in heels? I'm 5'8" and lately it seems like most women want a guy taller than them, but lots of women shorter than me are becoming more and more into guys who are much taller (see a lot of 5'2" girls dating guys over 6' or read online dating profiles where the shorter ones explicitly state they're looking for much taller guys over 6'). Is it as big of a deal as it appears? What's a guy of my height to do when even those in the already limited height range I can date aren't interested in guys who aren't tall? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2012): Yes for me the guy must be taller than me even if only by a bit. But I am 5'1" so pretty much 99.9% of guys meet this criteria for me. What's more important to me than height is build. My ex hb was 6'2" but after marriage he totally let himself go and gained 100 lb. I waited over 10 years for him to lose at least some of the gross fat but he wouldn't and I lost all attraction to him and we got divorced. My second hb is 5'6" and is very fit with a muscular build and to me he is the sexiest guy on earth.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2012): I m 5.4, 135 lb. I m very curvy with large boobs, but in good shape. I have very white skin and long curly red hair. My face is narrow, and everything is big on this face: nose, lips, eyes. I m pretty, men like me, but not all men.
I had a blind date with one guy through our friends. A guy was awesome, fun someone I could date. We had the greatest time. Even within a few minutes I caught him looking at passing by women, and I noticed one thing,all women he looks at are very thin, petite, with dark skin, and delicate features. I kept on going with evening despite the fact that the guy
Was displaying obviously that I was not his type at all. At the end I asked him so, what is your type. He described to me everything that I was not. We laughed about it and went our own ways.
I don't think he is shallow. I was not his type. Though he may be thought I was pretty, but that's not what he likes in women.
Short guys are not my type, and I will never be attracted to someone who is 5.4. Well, never say never, but it is a fact for me , I m not attracted to short guys. In your case, you are not short at all, 5.8 is a good height, at least for me. But may be some women won't look at you. Its just a matter of preference.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (25 December 2012):
 I am one of those short ( 5'3" ) women who like them tall :) With all due respect to Staceily... enough please with this shallowness thing. People are entitled to have visual and esthetic preferences. Tryng to find a partner that also appeals to your senses, and that has features which you like better physically , is no more shallow than preferring purchasing a blue car rather than a red one.
Of course, it's a matter of common sense. Same as I would not get any old clunker of an unsafe car just because is blue, I would not choose a partner JUST because he is 6'2 .
But if he is a nice,intelligent, interesting person... AND he is also tall, that's a nice bonus.
Of course ,given the choice, I definitely prefer a 5'5 gentleman to a 6'3 jerk, a short decent fellow to a tall jailbird. But, first let me see if there's anybody around who is decent AND also attracts me physically.
So, where does this leave our OP ?... In a normal,unexceptional position. In the same position in which are all the plump or stocky or even just slighty overweight women in a culture that exalts lean bodies and washboard flat stomachs : you deal with it , and count on your other qualities , not just moral or intellectual, but of physical magnetism, sensuality, charm, communicative etc. A person does not have to be physically perfect to be attractive !
Plus, not all women have a preference for tall men. It may seem so to the OP, because he is the one who is self conscious about his height ( and,btw, 5'8 is not exactly a midget ! ) , so he only sees what confirms his theory. In fact, some don't care at all about height ,or looks in general, some actually prefer shorter guys .
If it wasn't so, we 'd only see the tall guys having wives or girlfriends. But, just have a look around in any mall or supermarket or beach or wherever, and you'll see this is not what happens.
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (25 December 2012):
 I think only a very shallow woman would 'need' a man to be a certain height. There's far more that's important in a relationship than the man's height. My husband is very tall, 6'2 and he loves it. It was actually unattractive to me because I always preferred shorter guys but I wasn't going to let a dumb thing like his height turn me away. A woman who is worth something will care about more than just your looks and you will find her. Having certain physical features you like are typically a bonus in a mate, not a necessity, unless of course you are shallow. But like you speak of height for women, there are men out there who I have actually heard say they won't date a girl with breasts smaller than a certain size. Pretty ridiculous. Anyway just be patient and weed out the girls who are shallow, there are plenty of women who don't care about a man's height, I'm one of them and 2 of my sisters both dating men their same height at 5'5 proves it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 December 2012):
 I have to be honest... I like tall guys. My dad was 6"2 he's now about 6 feet... my son 6"3" his dad however was 5'7" and my current husband is about the same.
I was nearly 5'5" when I was younger and now I'm a mere 5'2" so even in heels I'm not tall.
I do prefer taller men but good men who are not as tall were not discounted because of height...
Don't fret about height... it's actually in the long run one of the least important traits...
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 December 2012):
 Tallness is a perk if it's there but not a negative if it isn't. 5'8" isn't short though. My boyfriend is 5'11" I think and I'm 5'6". Shorter guys are easier to kiss! I'd take a nice short guy over a tall guy who was a jerk any day. I'd also take a short guy with a nice face over a tall guy with a not as nice face.We always want SOMETHING different in our appearances, if you were tall you would worry about something else. Try to find your good features and be happy with those instead of wishing you could change yourself. You can't change your height but you can waste a heck of a lot of time wishing you could. It's not your height that makes you upset, it's the way you think about it.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2012): I can completely relate to you. I'm 5'9 and for a long time I experienced the same problem your're having and it can feel like a hopeless situation but believe me it's not, we just have to acknowledge that there are a lot of shallow people in this world and if someone is not willing to give you a chance based on something like that then why waste time trying to be with someone who's narrow minded and can't accept you as you are? It's true that there are a lot of women who are overly picky and shallow but that doesn't mean all of them are and even let's say for a taller guy who doesn't have this problem could be struggling with a different physical trait that may cause some women to turn the other way. I've been turned down several times just because I don't have blue eyes. I then came to realize that I couldn't be happy with someone who cares so much about every little thing and couldn't accept me the way I am. I also realized a lot of women who are not over their ex's can be picky because they want to find someone with the same physical traits as their ex.You don't need people like that, what you need to do is make the most of yourself just the way you are. Your height may be out of your control but think about it, it could be worse, I've seen many guys who are way shorter, hell my dad is 5'4 yet he's told me stories of the girlfriends he had when he was younger. You need to have confidence. Start working out at the gym, if you're a little over weight start working on that, get some new clothes, a new hair cut, don't try to be someone else, be the best that you can be and have confidence in yourself. Picking up some new hobbies can also help And then last but not least put yourself out there. It can take time and of course there's going to be women who might not find interest in you and vice versa but keep going until you find that right person. It's what I did and I was in a relationship for over 4 years and then another one after for 4 months. It's really not as big of an issue as it can seem, you just need to make the most of yourself and have confidence. I know you're looking for a woman's perspective but I just had to say something because I know where you're coming from. I apologize for rambling.
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A
female
reader, baby-blue-eyes  +, writes (24 December 2012):
im 5"5 and my boyfriend is 5"6 i generally prefer guys 5"8 + but im not too fussed to be honest
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