A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:This is a question for all of you women who are, or who have been, married or in a long term relationship. What are the things a man can or should do to keep his wife happy and fully committed to him? What would be yourbest advice as to what a woman wants or needs, so that she will remain a devoted and loyal partner? Conversely, what shouldn't a man do?I think this is a harder question for you girls to answer then it may first appear. For example, you may all say "romance, bring me flowers, give me thoughtful gifts, wine and dine me". But "that guy" can quickly become the dormat you take for granted and lose attraction for. What are the real secrets to winning and keeping your hearts? Is it basically the same for all women? Perhaps you can't even really say as in the end you don't always understand why your heart leads you on this path or that.Why do I ask? I try to be what she needs. Other women like and would want what I bring to the table, they have told this to both her and I But my gut tells me it's not enough. She still looks out yonder and may feel the grass is greener...So, what are the secrets to capturing and holding a woman's heart, happy and true forever. What I'm interested in are the big things, and the little day to day things. Thanks!
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female
reader, Shadow Rose +, writes (4 April 2012):
 Just be yourself.
Unless you're mean and smelly, then yourself should be good.
But it's always nice to be nice to girls, do romantic things, make them feel special, all that jazz.
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (3 April 2012):
 I've been with my guy for over 10 years now, and I love him just as much as ever, if not more. Why? He's a nice man. He's thoughtful, considerate, genuinely caring and tries to do the right thing. He LISTENS to me. I don't mean he agrees and pretends he agrees, I mean he really does listen and care what I say. He's very normal, down to earth and has wicked sense of humor, and he doesn't mind acting silly. My guy is highly educated, he's a cardiologist with a phd (yes, he's smart!) but he puts on no airs and I love that about him. He's just "the guy next door". He buys me little gifts unexpectedly and cards for no reason. He NEVER forgets my birthday. He calls me princess and treats me like I am gorgeous, even though my drop dead gorgeous days are behind me now...I still feel special. He hugs me and cuddles with me without me having to ask. He has a heart...he'll cry over things that really upset him (death in a family or something tragic that happens to someone innocent.) He isn't ashamed to show that he has feelings and compassion. He always looks and smells clean (thats a turn on guys!)
Trust me, its the LITTLE things that we ladies want. I don't care about money, expensive cars or gifts..I just want someone who CARES ABOUT ME and isn't afraid to show me.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (3 April 2012):
 Be responsible and mature. Act like an adult, take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. Don't be a slacker, keep up with chores and childcare, be hygienic and well dressed.
Be honest without being cruel, compassionate and loving. Be affectionate. Have goals for your life, a plan to improve yourself in some way, even if it's just finishing college to get your Bachelor's Degree, or lose 15 pounds.
Be self-motivating. Be able to make and keep your own appointments, clean your own house, cook your own food. I'm willing to help my mate do all of these things, but first and foremost, I need to know that he can do these things for himself, without me. I don't want a child...I want a man that is independent and trustworthy, and can take care of himself.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 April 2012):
 A keeper in my book is a guy with a sense of humor, who is faithful, honest, trustworthy, understanding, ambitious, but one who will put his family first. One who doesn't lie about the important stuff in life. Besides that, I think a guy who takes care of himself physically, but isn't vain is very attractive.
I have never been a "magpie" kind of girl, so I don't need jewelry nor shiny stuff to be happy. But I do appreciate a guy who can make me feel special, who can be adventurous and practical at the same time.
I like a guy who is punctual, yea it might seem minor but to me it speaks volumes.
Last but not least a man who doesn't have to be TOLD every single time what I like in bed, one who will surprise me with ideas, no matter how fancy or corny and who appreciate it when I do the same.
Do things around the house without being told. Remember to compliment your partner and appreciate the little things she does for you. These this may also seem minor but can score big points in the "balance ledger".
My husband are most of the things listed above, I don't expect him to be "perfect".
I don't think a guy (or a girl) should "change" into a role to suit their partner, some things can't be "faked". For instance my husband doesn't have a romantic bone in his body, and I am well aware of that so I don't expect that out of him, honestly I think it would freak me out if he tried. Instead he does thoughtful things, which to me means more then the "token" dozen roses.
Remember her birthday and get her something even if she claims she wants nothing. It doesn't have to be expensive, but something that will clearly show that you put your mind and time into finding "just" that for her.
Be who you are, be honest (but with tact and common sense), find some one with similar morals and values.
Never say shit or do stuff you don't really mean, just to placate your partner. It's like lying. Lying created mistrust, mist trust creates lack of respect, lack of faith and lastly lack of love.
You can't MAKE anyone be faithful. But you can keep your own integrity and by finding a partner with similar morals and values you might even find a partner who will be faithful.
What you put into a relationship is what you can "expect" to get in return.
Always be willing to talk about anything with her. Learn to compromise.
I could go on, but that might give you an idea or two.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 April 2012):
 Clean up after yourself
Take me out to dinner at least twice a month
Take me out to breakfast at least once a month
Bring me flowers at least 4 times a year for no reason at all
AT least OFFER to help with running the home (indoor and outdoor work)
Make sure our budget includes some “free money” for me and also budget in for my hair, clothes and other fun things (nails dinner out with the girls once in a while)
Take care of yourself…. Shower regularly, eat well, don’t gain TOO much weight
Compliment me when I deserve it… don’t make it up.
Hug me, kiss me, cuddle me on the couch….
LISTEN TO ME….
TALK TO ME or WITH me NOT AT me…
Say please and thank you
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