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male
,
anonymous
writes: I'll get right to my problem - I can't for the life of me figure out how to tell when a girl is interested, let alone figure out what I should do when she is. My last relationship was quite weird as the girl basically initiated it (I was giving a tour of the area, and by the time we got home we were having deep conversations in the car and continued for the next few nights in a similar but more physical fashion) but outside of that one particular girl I find that girls here (in the US, west coast) tend to be very much the "read my signals, or else" type... while I am the type of person that just plain can't. What usually ends up happening is that I'm completely unsure of whether or not any advances will be welcome and end up just throwing the whole idea of it out the window on account of possible doubt.I've got no problems on the physical side that I know of, and no issues with talking to people when I think they don't mind it. but I do'nt know how to get past my self concious inhibitions. too long already, any advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Stewart Terrace +, writes (13 October 2005):
When a girl is interested in you i think the signs are hard to tell. Dont worrie when the time is right you will know.
A
reader, pops +, writes (13 October 2005):
If you can't read sign, then speak directly to girls. Ask them out. The worst they can say is " No ". Most women are intrigued by men who speak directly to them. If you see an attractive woman, introduce yourself, and tell her you admire how she looks, or some aspect of her clothing. Noticing things like shoes, and feet( toenail polish, toes rings or other jewelry) tells a woman that you appreciate all of her, and you didn't just start and stop at her breasts ! Compliment the color of her eyes. Ask her name. Then ask her, by her name, if she would like to get a drink or lunch, or whatever with you. I have a friend who is always complimenting women on the shapeliness of their butts. He tells them, I wish you could enjoy watching you walk away from me as well as I do. It always gets a second look from them, and they usually come back and talk to him.
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A
male
reader, Ellis Mac +, writes (13 October 2005):
Dear matey.
I'd love to give you some advice on this one that would completely answer all of your doubts, but to be honest, I can be just as lost as you are now.
In my experience, many women do seem to be of the,'well if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you' school, and this can be very frustrating.
However, I can tell, when a women would at least like to see me again. Body language is a good one, and facial expressions too. You can also tell a lot from the movement of the eyes. In fact the intensity of, or lack of, eye contact will tell you what you need to know. Lots of lingering eye contact? I think you know what that means. And then there's that eye contact which is so deep, you know that true emotions are being touched upon. Or the glances at others passing by, when she's not really interested in you. If you think about it, or observe it when it is happening you'll realise what I mean.
A bit of a jumble, but I hope this gives you something.
Good Luck.
It's just another one of lifes games and all you have to do is create a set of rules that work for you.
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