A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I was wondering about all the myths out there about women love a "bad boy" or a "jerk." Can this possibly be true over someone who is down to earth and nice instead of cocky and rude? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for the advice. I'm just wondering why. I do have a girlfriend for almost a year now and it was just a question that was lingering in my head if she would love me more if i ultimately turned into the "bad boy" stereotype.
A
female
reader, LoveGoddess  +, writes (16 September 2009):
I learned the secret to bad boys - they are called "bad boys" because they treat you badly. They are ok for some fun, but do not get emotionally attached.
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A
female
reader, jessjess +, writes (15 September 2009):
 No way they are a total waste of time! Never have gone for them...!! I go for genuine guys who are completely themselves and are happy being themselves. Sense of humour, trust, loyalty, communication, kindness, the ability to have real fun together, caring eyes, and a lovely smile- what else do you need?!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): hi, I'm 19 and I like a boy I can tell all my secrets to... someone who will listen, tell me that I'm beautiful when my hairs sticking straight up, someone who I can depend on, and someone who will take me for me. I'm not drawn to bad boys, prison boys, or boys with bad hygiene. I am, however, drawn to the type of boy who can make me laugh and will always be there... but that's just me.
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A
female
reader, kaylagal +, writes (15 September 2009):
 When I was young and silly, I liked bad boys. Now I know better, bad boys are not attractive to me. I have a lot of friends who have never like bad boys and only liked quality guys.
Why do you ask?
If you're a nice guy, just be you. There are plenty of nice girls who appreciate guys like you.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (15 September 2009):
 Because jerks address women's emotional needs in indirect ways, where as nice guys only address her emotional needs partially and actually violate some of her key emotional needs that keep him "just a friend" instead of her lover.
At the heart of it, a nice guy makes a woman feel like his mother, and a jerk so much halts her mothering instinct that she ends up feeling like being the jerks lover.
I wrote and lectured about this very heavily and you can read and listen to free previews about it at my website:
http://www.franktalks.com
-Frank Kermit
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): Some do, some don't. Women like excitement, bad boys are a good source of excitement. Plus bad boys usually have a lot of confidence which is another attractive quality in a guy.
I find a lot of women think they can somehow fix bad boys and make them into nice people, never seen that actually work though.
What I have said above is quite common but not true of all women, all women have different tastes, my girlfriend likes shy, relaxed guys, like me.
I used to get really annoyed by the whole bad boy thing, I've seen sweet, innocent female friends of mine turn into cold hearted, man haters after dating bad boys.
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A
female
reader, califnan +, writes (15 September 2009):
 Personally .. I love a man who is Sweet, considerate, intelligent, humorous, Godly principles, nice looking, clean cut ........... (have been divorced for 24 years, ha)
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 September 2009):
 Well there are alot of stupid women in the world, however a smart one will pick down to earth and nice over cocky and rude every time.
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (15 September 2009):
 It may be true of girls, but if you are a nice and down to earth guy and you look for mature WOMEN who know themselves and are secure, and are not overly-obsessive in your pursuits of women (staying true to yourself), you won't be dismissed for being too “nice”.
No one enjoys being treated like dirt, but when one acts as though they don't care much about someone, it can have the side effect of increasing love-interest. Alternatively, there are girls who do not think highly of themselves. If one shows too much interest, they wonder why and question their quality. If he likes ME, something must be wrong with him.
The BEST is to be yourself. If there is a healthy balance of "I care, but I don't care TOO much, because I care about me as well," you should attract more emotionally-centred women and will avoid some ridiculous drama.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (15 September 2009):
 That's been my experience in general, yes. Most girls our age (18-25 or so) are surprisingly immature and will go for interesting men over supportive men. Guess which movies are more interesting, action/mysteries or slow artsy films. The jerks are confident, always have something planned, are even often in better shape. Plus, there's this feeling that girls can have it both ways by gathering a couple of nice guys in the Friend Zone so they have all the comfort and emotional support from guy friends, while having the excitement of dating bad boys.
But these are not women you want anyway. These women will, nine times out of ten, have had more sex that you could ever live up to, have more unrealistic expectations than you could ever live with, and are sufficiently shallow and impulsive that you'd never be happy. Those few, intelligent, balanced girls that are the sort you WANT are also the girls that know jerks aren't worth dating.
Keep being nice, keep being good to people, just try not to get walked all over by the bad girls / jerk girls while you wait for someone mature. In college, they are a minority, but they DO exist.
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