A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i have been living together for 13 years. we never married because it didnt seem necessary or fit our lifestyle. he is a great man and i love him very much. he has always been there for me and he is my best friend. we've had our troubles and seen them through, it seemed as though we would be together till we died. one week ago i came home from work to have him tell me that he had been seeing another woman for 3 months, was in love with her and leaving me. i believe love conquers all and i can forgive the infidelity in time. he is continuing to pay the bills as long as i need him to. he says he cant give her up. will he realize that he is infatuated and come home or am i in denial?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2009): I agree with the advice already given. Just wanted to add, which you probably already know. You are common law spouses and you are entitled to some legal rights regarding financial issues.
I would contact a good divorce attorney first as you will have the upper hand in this seperation if you do so.
Frankly, I think your relationship is over, and you need to take care of yourself and move on with your life.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (15 September 2009):
 I think the sensible thing to do is to make and execute the plans you'd need to in order to move on. Why would I say that? Well, you've basically told him you're willing to wait around for him, no matter how long it takes him to come to his senses and return to you. So he knows he's got all the time in the world, and there's no rush to end things with this other woman. He doesn't want to give her up, what is he, a spoiled brat wanting the new video game, or is he a grown man with a commitment (though not legalized) to you?
So you make these plans and go on about your new life without him, because this will either make him realize that he does indeed risk losing you forever, or it will have you that much further down the independence road when you finally realize that he is not coming back to you. Either way, you come out ahead because you have put yourself back in charge of your own destiny. He's not to be trusted with it right at the moment, and is going to have to earn the right to be back in your life anyway.
Get lots of support right now from friends and family and let them help you move along. And I'm afraid it's time to look for a new best friend. He's not it anymore. Sorry for your pain and the upset of your life's plans.
Take care.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (15 September 2009):
 Whether he's infatuated or not only time will tell. I guess you can wait it out if you want to, it seems you are more than willing to take him back. Personally I'd change my locks, phone number, and my life. And by the way he doesn't sound like such a "great man" to me, are you so sure after this crap he pulled that you still love him so very much? I wish you the best of luck, I know it hurts.
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