A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need advice for my friend, She is madly in love with this guy and he makes her happy but then when she hangs out with him and his female friends he acts like she doesn't mean a thing to him all because her ex bf lives with her and they have been broken up for over a year now.When he is at her house he hugs and kisses her but when she hangs out at his house or his female friends house he acts like he is dating the other girl and not her and she is not sure how to feel about this because her and the guy have been dating on and off for the last 3 years and now he is all hers and she is a afraid he will cheat on her like he did his ex's. How do i tell her its time to move on and be happy with someone else. How do i tell her he is just cheating on her and using her for sex and needs to move on with her life before she gets hurt again....I don't know how to tell her with out her getting mad one way or the other....Any suggestions??? P.s.She might be preg by him and the only time he ever comes around her is when he things she preg but when her period hits he wants nothing to do with her...I think he is just with her to get her pregnant....Advice Please???
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (6 October 2011):
 Some people just have to learn the hard way. Tell her you are happy to spend time with her without him around and that you have a maximum amount of time you will spend discussing him. Say 20 minutes?
Sit her down once and let her know your concerns. Tell her you are very worried for her health and well-being and that you will be there for her if she is willing to take the steps to get rid of him.
Then you just have to let her live her life and experience her own losses. Decide how much of the drama you are willing to cope with and then stick with that boundary you've set yourself. I personally wouldn't stick around to watch this guy in action and I would distance myself from her when she is with him. It may help draw her more toward you and away from him but don't count on it.
If underage drinking is at all involved, you might find a way to let her parents know, so they can take steps to help her.
A
male
reader, Uncle Charlie +, writes (6 October 2011):
It seems that you are putting up all of the red flags, but your friend is just "choosing" to ingore them. If that is true, then there is not much that you can do. Sometimes, you have to stand back and let your friend go down in flames. That way she will learn a valuable lesson. The only real worry is just how bad she will get hurt. Hopefully she will see what kind of guy he is, and will dump him, and the hurt will be minimum. If she lets it get further down the road, then she is confronted with the truth, the hurt could be severe. Unfortunately, which ever road that she takes, it will be really messy, ugly and hurtful. After that, the best you can do is to be supportive of her when it hits the fan.
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