A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband of 8 years have asked me following questions recently( in last month or so not all of them at the same time but in b/w conversations) which have no connection with me personally:1. What is an IUD2. why do women douche3. what causes yeast infectionsI was wondering why is he interested in all the above suddenly?? My wild thoughts have me thinking he is fooling around and to prevent the supposed gf from getting pregnant he probably suggested her to get an ius(like mirena) and possibly she gets vaginal infections as a result of that and possibly she douche too.As a reference here's link to my previous posts:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-can-i-do-to-find-out-if3.html
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female
reader, Italie  +, writes (24 April 2009):
 HiI've just read your other posting and I swear I could have written it myself a few months ago. Every single thing you wrote happened to me and I was a wreck constantly wondering what was going on, how can I find out what he's up to etc etc. I became really paranoid and now I can see that there was nothing going on with my OH but that I was reading something into absolutely everything.I know that your life is pure torture at the moment but no matter what people say on here, you'll not rest until you have definite proof. It's sad to say but even if you get proof that nothing is happening you probably wont believe it and will continue torturing yourself - at least I did. My OH knew I thought something was going on and caught me occasionally checking his phone (on the odd occasion he didnt have it in his pocket) and internet access so he started deleting everything. He has said recently that he sometimes did it because he knew I would look and it was irritating to him so he would irritate me back by having nothing there. If only he knew just how much damage that did! The one thing I did that you might want to do is install a keylogger on the PC. You can get them from download.com and some are invisible so he wont know it is there. You have a password that lets you access a list of every key he has hit. It will log every email sent and every web site accessed. If your husband can access his mobile bills online then if you can get him to log into his account it will log the password and you'll be able to access his bills and check if he is phoning a certain number regularly. Of course you'll then have to confront him if you find anything and he'll know what you've been up to.An other idea would be that when he phones from work you say "so what time do you think you'll be finished tonight?" and head over to his work to see when he leaves his office if he is alone or indeed if he is actually at the office. Again, you'll have to make your decision whether or not to leave him if he doesnt appear to be in work as, when you confront him, he will come up with some excuse and you'll just be left wondering again. I really feel for you because I know exactly what you are going through but if he isn't up to anything and you are making life hell for him by the constant mistrust then you are going to push him away!I have to say that, for me, while things have improved significantly and I feel a lot more mentally stable and can recognise when I was at my most paranoid, I still dont trust him and regularly check his phone/internet/phone bill. I had to sit him down and explain that he had to help me get over this suspicion or we were going to split up because I felt as though I was going mad. I asked him to leave his phone in one place so I knew he wasnt texting anyone in the bathroom and 'promised' that my end of the bargain was that I didnt look at it. I came up with other suggestions on how he could help me build trust but if he had said that it was my problem and refused to help then I would have had to have walked away. It's all so draining and ends up the focus of your life. I really hope you get it sorted.xxx
A
female
reader, Italie +, writes (24 April 2009):
Does he work with women? My OH used to work in a call centre and overheard loads of women talking about personal stuff on a regular basis. He used to come in and ask me all sorts as he was just confused by the conversations.I dont know if this is the case but it's certainly a possibility.xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2009): Don't just keep wondering and asking everyone else, as we don't know him.
Ask him why he is asking you all of these questions all of a sudden. If he gets evasive or you think he is lying when he gives the reason, ask if he is seeing someone else. If he is it will hurt, but you would find out eventually. If he isn't and there's some simple reason you will feel a lot easier.
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A
female
reader, Jleah +, writes (24 April 2009):
I would definetly be curious and want to ask him why he is asking you about these things. I am in the health profession and I can tell you that these are not everyday questions that a husband asks his wife unless they have something to do with her. You are his wife and have every right to know why he is asking you about these things having to do with a woman. Good luck!!
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A
female
reader, crimson_kiss +, writes (24 April 2009):
 Sweetie, sounds like you are seeing signs that are making you very uncomfortable. Yes, I have been there myself. Did you do what Eve suggested? She is TOTALLY right on it all. You need to investigate and if you can't do it personally, hire a detective. Yes, I know they can be costly, and not everyone has a friend that is a detective who is willing to do things for free, but for your own peace of mind and sanity you need to know what is going on here.If he is cheating, you will NEVER get the straight story from him. So you have to take charge and find out for yourself. It sounds to me that these latests questions are more signs for you and you have every right to be nervous and suspicious.If you need private help, feel free to message me. I have been down this path and having support helps!
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