A
female
age
51-59,
*adsam41
writes:Ive just read the question i needed answering by someone else on here. Ive been seeing a married man for 6 months, we've had a fling before, but this time ive fallen hook line and sinker, he says he feels the same. In fact he said those three little words first. A few months ago i asked if he would ever leave her and he said its too soon, but in six months time who knows. Well yesterday was 6 months, i asked again, he said, he didnt think i really wanted him to, i think meaning, he thought i was happy as things were??? He then said would i take him as he is? Dont understand that, but we were quite tipsy so i left it there. But i guess ive got my answer without him actually answering. Ive tried so many times but i just cant finish it, as i said ive fallen for him big time, and im 41 im not a child, i should know better, etc, i just cant do it. So ill change my question to, is 6 months too soon? Of am i kidding myself? just looking for excuses to carry it on? I honestly can see me crumbling if it was over.
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female
reader, forever friend +, writes (16 July 2010):
 hi darling, i know exactly wat its like to love an unavailable man, its real heartache knowing the truth, love really is blind, but deep down u know the truth, just like i did, i know how much it hurts, the best thing u can do is start dating and going out more theres really plenty more out there, or more to the point , make urself happy,
dont settle for second best huni , being second best is the pits for ur self worth, it only gets worse the longer u wait. be strong and find someone loving who deserves u, all the best
A
female
reader, sadsam41 +, writes (16 July 2010):
sadsam41 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for all your replies, you all made good points, I know im doing wrong and no i wouldnt like it done to me.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010): You can finish this, get out before you look back and find you have wasted years on this man, the hurt is going to happen sooner or later. Be strong, and let him go, you can do better than a man that cheats.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (12 July 2010):
 "Take him as he is".. Translation...
"Take me as I am, a married man who has a wife at home and who promises you nothing at all."
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (12 July 2010):
Your fooling yourself. He's sleeping with you and he's sleeing with his wife. He won't leave his wife, and if she finds out about you, he'll drop you like a bad penny.
Ask him in 6months time, really means, you can ask if you want to make a fool of yourself, he has no intention of divorcing his wife for you.
Here, read these stories, this is where all the women who fool arround with married men hang out. Your not the only one, but they are more realistic, at least they know that the man is telling them a pile of bullshit.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/in-love-w-a-married-man-how-do-i-cope-w-break-up.html
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (12 July 2010):
I love you as well. :)
See how easy those words come? He's married, and he will lie to you and use you, then ditch you. This man doesn't care about you at all. He just cares that you're there for the sex. You're just a mistress to him. Nothing more.
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (12 July 2010):
 Yes, you are kidding yourself. Six months is not to soon to expect him to leave his wife and start divorce proceedings if he was going to - and it's very clear he is NOT going to.
Forget about "falling hook line & sinker" for this man. Ask yourself if you want to waste any more of your precious time on a man who is cheating on his wife - involving you in cheating with him, incidentally - or would you be better off giving him the boot and turning your attention elsewhere.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010): What you have to ask yourself is why he's seeing you. What's wrong with his marriage? Has he fallen out of love with his wife, or is this just some kind of "bored" phase? If the answer to those questions is "yes, yes and yes" maybe he's waiting to see if you are stable enough to be something more than a phase. Sometimes when people have been married for many years, they don't know how to live on their own (yes, even men) so when they prepare to leave one relationship, they often need another one to swing to. He may be testing the water with you. I was still married when I met the love of my life, and he had to wait 5 years for me to decide if he was "husband" material because I didn't want to be single. (I didn't know how). Could this be a similiar thing with your man?....Only time will tell. All I can say, is if you love him and you enjoy his company and are willing to be on a string for him, he may leave her in time. It's a big gamble, but then again love always is. Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010): What makes you think that if he leaves his wife to be with you, he won't leave you to be with someone else eventually? cheating is habit, and it won't stop. have to say I feel for his completely unaware "wife". the sanctity of marriage is totally disrespected these days. that band on his finger means he belongs to one woman only, and unfortunately its not you. so cry your heart out while eating tons of ice cream and watching chick flicks, then get yourself together to find someone who will only want to be with you and vice versa.
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 July 2010): 6 years is too soon with a married man. just leave him alone he obviously has no intentions to leave his wife or he wouldnt have asked you to take him 'as he is'. you're playing with fire, and one day his wife will burn you. what if you were married and found out your husband wanted another woman and no longer wanted you....his WIFE? don't be that other woman
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