A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am a woman in my late 30's with a b/f of the same age. I have a grown up child and he has never married or lived with anyone before so I guess I have lived a lot more than him with regard to previous relationships.We get on really well and I really love him apart from one thing. He is very 'into' sexual innuendos, not in front of my son or family but when we are alone. If for example a woman appears on tv with a mini skirt and heels or a fitted top he will say things like 'cheeky' and if lo and behold a woman is wearing lingerie or is naked he is soooooo over the top with his comments. He is the same about a naked or fit man, saying 'Cor he is hunky look at those abs' or things like 'bet you would like a hunk like him in bed' Its almost as if he has never seen a naked man or woman before. If I am undressing he is over like a shot with his hands out laughing and I guess I should appreciate the attention but in honesty its like dating a teenager sometimes. He is constantly referring to his 'winkie' and he thinks it is funny on some jeuvenille level and says all men are like this but in my experience they are NOT. He is so annoying and it really wears me down. I almost feel like I am dating an overgrown pervert. I like the fact he doesnt have an ex wife and children and I have him all to myself but I keep picking him up on his immaturity and he just doesnt get it. I end up telling him to 'shut up'. He is house trained, doesnt smoke or drink, is intelligent, kind and thoughtful but I just wish he would grow up!!!Any help with how to bring this man out of his nappy and into his boxers would be appreciated. Thanks guys!
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female
reader, chocoholicforever  +, writes (13 January 2011):
Can you tell him politely but firmly that it really annoys you and turns you off when he does those things?
the longer people stay single, the more set in their ways the time they move in with someone.
I think it's a bigger problem if you're telling him to please stop with his comments already because it's very irritating and he "won't" stop. That's not about immaturity, that's about being inconsiderate.
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (13 January 2011):
 Sadly some guys are like this. I am surprised he hasn't picked up on the fact that it is annoying you. If you haven't already told him so, it's about time.
From your post, it sounds like you have told him this behavior annoys you. Let's face it, he's probably been doing it all his life and he feels comfortable in your presence making remarks like this. It may also be his way of initiating sexual contact with you. If it isn't appealing, you may have to guide him with queues you'll respond to when he wants to make love to you.
I don't think there's an easy fix to this. It'll probably take some effort on your half to either ignore him when he acts this way or gently remind him when he slips into this mode. If it gets to be unbreakable habit, and you find yourself being a nag, perhaps the both of you will have to re-evaluate whether you are truly compatible for one another.
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A
male
reader, Akir +, writes (13 January 2011):
House trained?
Sounds like you want him as a pet rather than a partner, some of us men will always have a bit of immaturity, it will never go away. Talk to him about it and if he really doesnt get the message, then try and treat him more like an adult than a child, because from what I'm reading, you do.
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