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anonymous
writes: I found a small bag of pot and a 'pipe' in my son's room. He's 16 and he is smoking every day. He admitted to me he did this. And he said "don't worry...all the kid's do it" I am so worried about the long range effects and how this will ruin his future. He's a good student..so far. He's quiet, has friends and aside from this poor choice...is generally a great kid to have around. He's not chippy, abusive or petulant. I need some helpful, sensible advice from parents who have been through this. What did you do? What did you say to your teen? Did they eventually stop, as they got older? Did pot ruin their lives? Give me some good, solid input, ideas on how I should handle this without blowing up our family life. I want to constructively help him, not toss him out on his ear. I am worried sick for him. The last thing I don't want--is for him to leave home, angry, hating his family and upset. There is no actively involved Dad, here--I am a single Mom, trying my best to raise him to be a good person with values and I want him to to have a happy solid life. He's such a great, smart boy with his school..just real dumb on this issue. Thanks. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2008): Make sure the stuff isn't laced. If its laced you have a problem, if not then its ok and weed is good. If school studies aren't slipping, and his personality isn't being seriously negatively affected then i say let it go and maybe try it with your son.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): smokin weed is something your son will grow out of, im 15 at the moment and last year i started hanging round with a few lads a bit older than me, they got me into drugs, booze, sex, they turned me into a freak basicly, but it was my faul, let him get on with it because it wont last hun. dont worry about him he knows what hes doing. good luck x
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reader, carebear  +, writes (17 February 2008):
 Dear posterConflicting advice here, mature folk saying yes you should be worried younger folk saying its the norm not harmfull????I am an old foggie lol talk to him say you know he's smoking not to do it in the house please,do not invite friends to do it in the house as this might encourage them apart form getting leaflets on this and leaving them where he can read them and other advice from the aunts/uncles about pionting out the obvious hopefully its just a phase and he will see the light.Tell him you love and care for him he is the most important person in your life and you only want the best for him.
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reader, korculan queen  +, writes (9 February 2008):
Talk to him on what he gets out of it in smoking. Listen to his reasons and if he says all the kids are doing it ask him if all the kids were eating poop would he do it too? Cannabis is a mind altering mind expanding drug and its effects have been known to trigger mental conditions in already people predisposed to mental conditions. The problem would be how much time and money he is spending on it and where he is getting it from and what quality. In Australia we have hydroponic,skunk, bush weed. Of these skunk and hydro are the worst most potent. Is there a drug and alcohol program he could go into to just get some counselling? If you force him to go he will go underground so maybe get some pamphletts and leave them in his room or around the house. The key is to approach it in a way that he knows you love him and you want to understand what he is going through and you would like to hear what he has to say.Maybe tell him that you value him and that being a single mum you would be really sad if anything happened to him. The key is to talk and LISTEN to him.
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reader, rcn  +, writes (9 February 2008):
 just for information. If the weed causing paranioa, it's laced. Some dealers mix some real wicked stuff in with weed. Generally paranoid behaviors from drugs are caused by a chemical reaction (lsd) (crank), etc. Weed that's just picked then roled won't cause that reaction. If they developed paranioa after the first use (wouldn't use schizophrenia; separate disorder), I would bet a methenphedamine based drug was used to strengthen the affect of the weed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2008): how anyone can say that weed is safe to smoke is beyond me!!!!! I've seen documentaries where first time users have become drug induced paranoid scitzo's. I've seen a lot of my own friends become paranoid, depressed and lazy people. I've seen them end up at the local looney house. My own son who is 17 does not smoke weed, he has tried it 2 years ago and it made him moody and paranoid. He is fine now and doesn't touch anything, but you should see the state of his mates who smoke it day in and day out, they all look like scruffy smackheads, their faces are starting to look withdrawn, they don't do anything with their lives, and spend any money they can get on it. They are now onto the next stage of taking coke, whizz, pills etc.. They are 16 and 17 year olds, very very very sad. Show your son drug addicts and it might start to put him off.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): As for serious long term psychological affects check your facts first they haven't proven it directly...sure its like cigarettes and probably has a high chance of lung cancer but it's not harmful. I smoke and have smoked for the past 4 years daily, as long as he is taking care of what he needs to be taking care of such as school work and whatever else is important then I wouldn't worry too much about him. Everyone acts like weed is the devil, it's not. I used to be manic depressive and care way too much about certain things and weed has opened me up and taught me to let go of the little stuff. I wouldn't call it a way out or a temporary solution but it's just like when you're stressed out and can't relax, weed takes the stress out of you and you loosen up and quit thinking so hard about what is bothering you, it makes you laugh which has been proven to burn calories and those that laugh more live longer. As for a gateway drug thats total bullshit and they have proven that the only reason they say it's a gateway drug is because the people in rehab have done a ton of drugs including weed and because weed is so common that's what they happend to try first. I know plenty of people who have done hard drugs and never smoked weed and plenty of people who have smoked and don't do anything else. Look weed up for yourself, just google it and find out some history behind it. It doesn't hurt to educate yourself about it. Weed itself doesn't make you want to do other drugs, it's the person's choice if they like to experience things for themselves and are adventurous then they might try other stuff. Just reassure him of the dangerous effects of other drugs (hard drugs) and kinda pay attention to his cash situation if he goes through money really fast then be worried.I am the type of person who thinks everyone should try what they want to regardless of what people say. If your son is strong willed and determined let him relax and smoke if he wants. It's really not a big deal, I have never met so many new friends and good friends until I started smoking weed and I wouldn't trade them for anything, it opens you up and you really get to know people on a different level sometimes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): number one:you shouldnt be snooping around your sons room- bad mummy.secondly:i used to smoke it occasionally when i was that age but stopped because it can have SERIOUS long term psychological affectsit messes up your brain, it really does.it makes you less intelligentand can make u paranoid and also withdrawnthe worrying thing is you found a bong in his room which means he is smoking alone...is he trying to cope with some problems or something? i used to smoke it socially but not alone and weed is almost always, in my experience, a gate way drug, i dont think i no one person who, after having smoked weed hasnt dabbled in other things.....arghits a tough one, because come down heavily on your son and he could resent you and do worse things on purpose.good luck xx
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reader, NycZem +, writes (8 February 2008):
 The worst thing that can happen is laziness and he may be unmotivated. I personally smoke weed everyday, and those are the only side effects i encounter. Don't attack him for it, because it's not going to stop him at all, not even a chance. Just let him be, if anything be a bit more supportive. The fact that you found a pipe and weed in his room means he smokes by himself. Allow him to do it freely in the home a bit more, and maybe even try it with him. If his friends smoke, allow then to join as well, your home is a safe haven for them to be social and counteract the worst side effects of pot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): i have never done any drugs but i know people who have some of them get straight a's others get straight f's but there is some memory problems associated with weed but for the most part i believe rcn is right i mean weed can lead to heavier stuff MUCH more dangerous stuff so if it was me yes i would be worried and i would forbid them to use it
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): Well I smoked pot at that age. Maybe not everyday, but for a while I smoked just about everyday. But only with my friends and a couple of times I smoked by myself. The way that my mom got me to stay off drugs was by instilling fear and alot of judgment in me. She would casually talk about the hippie days and all the drugs that people did back then and then go on to say how it ruined people's lives. But she never said it as a threat only as stories. We'd be walking down the street and there was this homeless crazy guy who she claimed she knew and said that he was crazy because he did acid and never got off his trip. Or talk about people she knew who were reduced to stealing and being utterly pathetic just to get their hands on drugs. She would point out people and situations that she knew I never wanted to be like and associated their bad situations with drugs and everything she never wanted me to do. This was probably very calculated on her part. But she always associated people who did drugs with being complete losers. But at the same time she always raved about being responsible and educated and having a good head on your shoulders and the positive impact that would have on my life in society. Look I know alot of people who do drugs socially. The thing that keeps them in line is that they have goals and good social values. They grew up in households that were judgmental and that rubs off on them. Yeah they do drugs on occasion but they wouldn't be caught dead being junkies or social outcasts like that because they were molded to appreciate being educated and responsible. You got to keep him focused and goal oriented. You got to be somewhat judgmental and snobby when it comes to stuff like that. Its NOT enough or effective to say "don't do drugs" or "drugs are bad for you." What is absolutely effective is showing alot of judgment against that kind of behavior in your everyday life. I know it sounds mean to be judgmental and snobby, but when it comes to protecting your children, you got to do what you got to do. And every successful person I know has their parents voice in their head saying "Yuck a junkie!" and "Bravo! A clean college graduate!" That voice and judgement is what keeps kids in line. And they will thank you for it one day.
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reader, rcn +, writes (8 February 2008):
He says don't worry. Years ago, I may have said the same thing. I personally don't do it, but I know people who do, and some are college professors.
Now, I've heard weed is safer than alcohol. In many fashion, I believe that to be true. Why do police departments focus quite hard on weed smokers, and puting them in jail? I think it's a prevention tactic. What if your son gets board with weed and someone offers him to smoke some crack or crystal meath. 95-100% addiction after the first use. Quite a few heavy drug adicts began with weed, they didn't start with the heavy drugs. That's what I'd be worried about. Is he strong enough to say "no, i just smoke weed", or would he give it a try?
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): Hi.
I have 3 kids that are now 20 and older.
They were all what you can call "Pot heads" when they were that age. They did it everyday, and when they came home from school they would sleep. Was I worried it would ruin thier lives? Yes I sure was. Did I talk to them about it? Yes I did, but was I angry? No. I wanted to but my kids were right it is their life, but I did make them agree with me on one thing if they needed to talk to me I was always there... However, before the year was over they weren't smoking pot anymore they said that the affect got boring, it didn't make them lose interest in school. One of my kids is a Lawyer, ones a Teacher and ones a Computer Technician. Maybe smoking pot will help him realize what he wants to do? Smoking pot cant harm him in anyway, its not like Cocain or Heroin, its getting tested to see if its a help to cure cancer, all it makes them do is have a fun time,laugh, eat, and sleep.
Hope this helps.
Xx...
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): I really feel for you, i was a single mum for 5 years and boy was it hard. It will be made doubly hard by pot, sorry to say this but i personally hate the stuff, and i know there will be people on the site who will support it. My ex was heavily into it and smoked it every day. He became paranoid and life got really bad and so i left him and took my son away from the environment. So far my son is 16 and hasnt mentioned anything to do with the weed, i hope he never does. It can be the stepping stone to other drugs or they could stay there. Get some leaflets about it and sit him down and explain just what he is doing to his mind and body, mostly his mind, it can do a young persons head in. My friends daughter ended up on anti depressants at the age of 22, sorry but it am telling it as it is. Talk to him and maybe it is just a faze. Get in touch if you want more info.
take care
xx
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