A
female
age
41-50,
*ixieGwen
writes:so im just trying to figure if this date went well.we had alot of conversation, laughed alot.. or he seemed to be smiling alot, joked around. we hung out for a few or more hrs and then when he was leaving he lingered, so i hugged him. before he stood up to leave he asked if i was staying and i said yes - I stayed at the bar because it was karaoke and i was going to sing a song for a friend.(i chose a bar that im familiar with..so some people i know happened to be there, we got interrupted a bit but i apologized and he didn't seem phased by it, he smiled/laughed and said it was ok). A few hours later he sent me a text saying it was nice meeting you. i hope you had fun doing karaoke:)i think that's what the text said..cant remember but i wrote back and said i enjoyed meeting him and said i enjoyed karaoke etc. and the next day he wrote me and said he had fallen asleep, which is why he stopped responding, and i later said that we should do it again - somewhere less crowded/loud and he said "yeah for sure :)" . we conversed a bit through text msg.. but he didnt make plans for a 2nd date, so i dunno.we met Wednesday, he messaged after the date on Wednesday and we talked on Thursday.so did it go well? i can't tell...i mean he didn't even plan for a 2nd date..but he did msg the same night to say he liked meeting me or whatever.
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female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (17 April 2011):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question thanks for all your answers. i dont really think i looked like a party girl.. mainly cause i wasnt drinking, he saw that, and i told him i was staying to sing a song for a friend thats going out of town/then going home. and he texted later..so he knew i was home.
we talked today, he sent me a msg to say hi and to see how my wknd was going/how my quiz went.
i guess i was just confused a bit at first is all ..but ill give it a week..now that we've talked again..and if we continue talking.. i may just ask him out for coffee, something simple. he told me today that he has a son and said to me "sorry of that was a bomb to drop, never quite sure how or when to bring that up"
i dunno if he thought that itd be a deal breaker for me but it isnt..and i made sure he knows that.
so anyway we'll see what happens.
A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (17 April 2011):
 All male species in this our animal kingdom want what they either have to fight for, prove to or chase after. Few exceptions to this rule.
look at Elephants.
Female elephants will chase any male away to protect the food source for their off spring. However it won't stop a male Elephant even in risk of death to enter into a female herd.
There's biology working here. It's not much different for humans either. Men when faced with a challenge will butt heads. The challenge does not have to be another male, though natural selection will get that boxing match going.
Life exists only because we know the meaning of Survival of the fittest, it's in our unconscious genes.
Women choose mates for strong breeding, men choose women for the ability to birth. Look at all the "off with her head" the destroyed kingdoms, because she could not bare children. It's ruined countries, started wars.
If a guy is tired he's still lying in the tall grass looking at the lionesses. He's not feeling threatened and he's not feeling the need to breed.
The lioness will know this and either strut her stuff or move along. That's where chaos theory takes it's part in life. Who knows all is chaos. That's called fate.
In the meanwhile keep the wheel spinning, chances of him knowing you're interested in other men will perk his interest. Just be aware that the interest is usually his ego and not always about the girl. Don't question things to much. Chances are he was just tired. Chances of him calling are chances, life is about risk, decide on how much you wish to invest and leave it at that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2011): I don't think you will and here is why: he ended the date first and you stayed at the bar, which looks bad, like you are a party girl. Then you suggested going out again and he did not set a date and gave you a vague response. I would pull back and if he does ask you out again, do something like dinner, with no distractions, and limit yourself to one drink. Make sure you don't hang out all night and you be the first to end the date so it doesn't look like you are up for all nighters with men you barely know.
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A
female
reader, AnalyticalMentalityOx  +, writes (16 April 2011):
Honey, he had a good time and most likely does want to go on a second date. But he isn't going to plan it straight away and text you after you suggested going out again. Why? Because you need a little break after having your first date and he would feel pressured because it's rushing from date to date.I'm sure he will text or call you during the next week or two and ask you out on a second date, no doubt... Just don't be worried or question why he didn't plan a second date straight away
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (16 April 2011):
 I think its pretty normal that he might not immediately invite you out again.
What I would do in your place would be to continue the "conversation" by text (though email or IM would be better, because text communication can be quite limited) and see how it goes. Maybe he will ask you out on a date (and he might even want to give a little thought as to where to take you first). If he does not, and you continue to chat, why not give it a week and then you ask him out? Maybe somewhere specific you think would be a great place to see him again......
Good luck!
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