A
female
age
41-50,
*onfused29
writes:Dear Cupid,I'm very attracted to one of my male co-workers...a sort of instant attraction if you will. When I started 6 months ago, he knew my name before I even had time to process my new work enviornment and tried to make small talk here and there. The next few months we didn't have much communication b/c I switched departments, but we constantly make eye contact as he walks by (sometimes slightly longer gazes that make me nervous--in a good way). Sometimes he'll smile and/or wave, sometimes not. Recently he heard me speaking about taking a trip to Italy with my current boyfriend of 6 years (yes, both he and I are involved with other partners). Out of nowhere, he asked "If your boyfriend asked you to marry him, would you say yes?" Considering we've never had a serious conversation, I've been a bit perplexed as to why he asked such a personal question so fast. He also asked "how old are you?" and "how long have you been together?"After work a few days later, I stopped by his office to ask why he was so curious about my relationship--and told him I had a nightmare about getting married. He apologized for causing me anxiety, but never really answered the question. We also delved into a really deep conversation about relationships and both admitted to some reservations about our current partners (He has been involved for 3 years). He admitted to "looking at his partner like a best friend" and having some doubts because she doesn't get along with his sister. I told him that I found it almost impossible to have all of my needs fulfilled by 1 person--and he responded "I totally understand what you mean."Also, I ran into him with a female co-worker one morning coming out of the cafeteria. She said "Good morning" to him, but he just stared at me, tilted his head to the side and said "Good morning" to me. When we got back to our desks, she asked what that was about and noticed that he had a "dreamy" look on his face. I just denied it, but seeing him unexpectedly gave me butterflies inside.Since then, we've had limited contact (we work in completely different departments), until yesterday when he passed by my desk, stopped and turned toward me. He looked into my eyes and it felt very different than when other male co-workers look at me. He asked, in a very quiet, almost intimate voice "How have you been?" I just smiled and said "OK." His response was "Just OK?"--then we were interrupted.I have very deep feelings for him and don't know if I should just take a chance and tell him how I feel, or back off. If we were both single, I wouldn't hesitate. I just cannot get him out of my mind and the curiosity is killing me. PLEASE HELP!
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female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (17 April 2011):
 He's just playing a little game to break up the montomy at work. Men do this sometimes, engage in a little office flirting. My guess is if you try to take it further you will end up looking like a fool. He's already involved with someone else. And so are you. I've seen this time and time again. Suddenly when you start falling for him, he'll ply it up to a point, then suddenly the girlfriend will start showing up at work parties or office luncheons and it'll bother you to see them together. You could get pegged as the office "stalker" and be reprimanded by management for causing "problems" for everyone at work. Save yourself the hassel and just keep your distance. No good can come of this.
A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (17 April 2011):
 I'I'd say this guy is interested in you but can't ask you out because you're involved with someone and so is he! Ask him to join you for coffee and see where it takes you. If something starts cooking please end it with your bf and ask him to do same. But make sure he's ready to end his relationship as well. Don't loose out at both ends.
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