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Will we get together? And if not what should I do about being his "bit on the side"?

Tagged as: Cheating, Teenage, Three is a crowd<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (27 October 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 28 October 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Me and an old friend have started talking a lot more like we use too. We did stop talking for a bit because we both was busy. we have been flirting like we use too, however he is 2years older than me and he has a girlfriend. I do enjoy spending time with him and I have found myself thinking about him a lot, we have met up without his knowing all the time. She lives over 61 miles away from him and there relationship isn't going too well. He has cheated on her with me.

I was wondering if there is a chance between us, as I know he wouldn't cheat on me as we went out before.

So my question is will we get together? And if not what should I do about been "his bit on the side"?

View related questions: flirt, has a girlfriend

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A female reader, followtheblackrabbit Cayman Islands +, writes (28 October 2011):

followtheblackrabbit agony auntShow more respect for yourself and stop being his "bit on the side." Can you take someone calling you that to your face? Are you comfortable with that? Cause you are what you do...I hate to sound harsh but if this guy cheated on his girlfriend with you, he will cheat on you. Sorry but just because things are going bad in a relationship doesn't mean you get permission to cheat. If things go bad with you, I don't doubt he'll find someone else. Think of his girlfriend-how heartbroken she'll be. How humiliated. She doesn't deserve this. Do you know her side of the story? My friend's bf told everyone she cheated and it was only because he felt she had no right to give a guy (who turned out to be gay) her number and saw it as cheating. Anyway, just stop this-your reputation, self-worth, and heart are at stake. I don't know you, true. But, hon, ask more for yourself, value yourself as more than a guy's side dish.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I suppose your actually right thanks, I never actually thought about what she would be feeling due to the fact I don't know her and all I know is what I have been told about her and she cheated on him. I think if we did go out again he wouldn't cheat as I know him too well and we are pretty close. Thanks you advice really did help and made me think thank you!!! xx

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A female reader, ShiShisAdvice United States +, writes (27 October 2011):

ShiShisAdvice agony auntStop being his "bit on the side", and find your own man. Your heart will feel better for it.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (27 October 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntOh goodie another MIND READING question...

will you get together? Let me shake my magic 8 ball...

and the answer is "it's possible"

whether or not you get together you should not be his "bit on the side" it shows a total disregard for women in general and his GF and you in particular.

Cheaters and liars are cheaters and liars... what's to stop him from cheating on you when you go off to uni???

I just spent a year with a man who was 100 miles away from me... when we could not be together it never would of occured to me to cheat on him... why is it ok for this guy to cheat on a girl who's 61 miles away. 61 miles is a daily commute in my town.. many folks drive that every day to and from work...

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A female reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx United Kingdom +, writes (27 October 2011):

xTheAlmightyDuckx agony auntHow can you be so sure that if you did happen to get together and your relationship was going through abit of a rough patch he wouldn't go and cheat on you like he did with the other girl?

He may just like you said want abit on the side and thats as much as he wants nothing more, but if you don't want to be his bit on the side ask him if he would ever consider leaving his first girlfriend and going out with you.

If he ses there isn't a chance tell him you don't want to be his bit on the side as it makes you feel cheap and you want more than that with him.

Also maybe you should take a moment to think about the other girl involved, how would you feel if your boyfriend dumped you to go out with someone else?

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