A
female
age
36-40,
*ilgirl20
writes:My boyfriend and I started dating when I was a freshman in high school and he was a sophmore in high school. We broke up shortly after I started my senior year because he cheated on me. We were broke up for about a year and a half then got back together. We dated for about 6 months then I broke up with him because it was still hard for me to trust him and I was in college which was 2 hours away and we only got to see each other on the weekends. We decided to start dating again but just take it slow. We now have been together for about a year and a half. So total years together have been about 7. We are closer now then ever. I have been thinking about marriage and talking to him about it but he just hasn't proposed yet. It kinda makes me feel like he just doesn't want to or I am just not the one. Please help me! What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (28 October 2009):
Easy there. I'm sure you feel like you want to get married, but a though seven years is a long time, there has been cheating and two break ups, one because you knew you couldn't trust him, and the other because you were still unsure and both of you weren't seeing each other all that much. This is a relationship that is going to take time to really fix, so please slow down. Don't think that a ring on your finger suddenly makes it all better. There are a lot of people who have thought that and it's ended in divorce. You are closer than before, I grant you that. But before any marriage is planned, you really need to be sure you can trust him, you need to be sure you have a future togather. If you're looking for reassurance that he loves you, have a conversation with him about where he sees this relationship going in the future, and talk about your aims in life. that way, you'll know what to plan for. But don't talk about marriage yet, this relationship isn't quite ready for it. Hope that helps.
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