A
female
age
41-50,
*9agegap
writes:Will there be someone for me? I'm 27, have a successful career and am smarter than most peers my age. I've dated a couple of times but things did not work out. As I read the questions on this site...seems like there's a lot of bad guys out there - not committed, controlling, cheating....and I start to wonder if there's any good single guys out there at all. Maybe, not everyone will meet his/her mr right. I need to believe. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, BigSis  +, writes (23 June 2008):
 There is someone for everyone in this big wide world, eventually you'll meet him, and when you do you'll know he's the right one.
I'm a very optimistic person and believe we've all got a permanent soul mate just waiting for us to come upon them, more often than not by sheer accident.
So be patient, and remember what I wrote in your last thread.
BigSis
xXx
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (22 June 2008):
 Oh boy, PLEASE do NOT take this site as a cross-section of real life.
ONLY people with problems to fix ask for advice. It would be like going to a ford garage, seeing only cars in need of being fixed and thereby concluding that ALL ford cars are bad. Well they are but your method of deducting this is flawed.
Now you do make a very good observation: "and I start to wonder if there's any good single guys out there at all."
The keyword being "SINGLE". You at least acknowledge that there are good guys out there, just taken.
That is obvious going to be a problem. Good guys (and for that matter good women) are going to be in high demand so they won't stay single for long. As you get older, well there is often a reason why someone stays single or becomes single.
Will there be someone for you? Who knows, love is elusive but tends to popup when you least expect it.
What is going wrong with the dating now? To find the prince you got to kiss a lot of frogs. If none of them are the right one so far. Well that happens, continue trying.
If the current guys you date all turn out to be bad guys, well then you might just be attracting the wrong ones for whatever reason.
But if you are just having fun, dating some okay guys that just don't turn out to be the one you want to spend of the rest of your life with, that is called being young and single, just give it time.
Some basic dating advice. First determine what type of man you are after (and be sure it is a man you want) and then determine where they are. You are not going to meet a party animal at the local library for instance.
Don't over commit to soon. It doesn't just give you a bad reputation, when you are fooling around with the wrong guy Mr Right might just happen to come along, see you are occupied and move on. A girl is supposed to KISS a lot of frogs. Not move in with them and have their kids.
But most important, be honest with what you really want. There is no perfect guy out there. A hunk with a brain who is macho and sensitive seems to be high on the wishlist but might I suggest being a bit more realistic?
Don't worry, if another 10 years there still isn't someone then you might want to start panicking. Or realize that being single ain't all that bad after all.
Remember, we don't get posts "My guy is perfect, HELP!" but we also don't get "I am happy being single, HELP!"
...............................
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (22 June 2008):
The reason you are seeing so many bad guy stories on here is that girls with decent guys generally don't come to problem page websites. They are busy out in the real world spending time with their man.
"Dear Cupid, I have no problems with my man, he is great!" doesn't really work.
There are plenty of decent guys out there, you just need to put yourself in a position to find one. How many new people have you talked to this week? If the answer is less than 3 then you need to get out more, join groups or clubs, volunteer somewhere, do anything to meet new people. You'll soon see there are lots of nice guys out there and will no doubt find one for you.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): Well am also 27 and do not have a man too, i actually dated a married man for close to 3 yrs cus i couldn't find any single guy dat wld take me seriously now am all alone and i wonder will dere ever be someone for me, may be am meant to be alone, although sometimes i tell my self that not every one is suppose to find dat someone.
...............................
A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (22 June 2008):
 Hi,
of course there is. We are not all bastards, though plenty of women would probably disagree.
It all depends on what you consider a good partner. The first thing you mention is that you have a successful career which means it is obviously important to you, if you need this in a future partner you will narrow your parameters significantly. So as long as you don't have a list that you tick off ..i.e. career, home, car etc..then just be yourself and you will meet someone.
Life is about taking risks , you will meet blokes who are a-holes, and you will meet nice guys. If the guys you meet at the moment are all a-holes then maybe its time to change what matters to you.
A friend of my partner only dates rich guys , then complains that they are all self absorbed arseholes when they dump her for the next piece of fluff to come on the market, but what does she expect?
Anyway, I'm sure Mr right is out there for you, good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Bex37 +, writes (22 June 2008):
If you're a smart 27 year old with a successful career, what's the big deal about finding Mr Right? You're dating, you're having fun - why focus on the fining 'the one'? Men are attracted to confident women and confidence comes from being yourself and being happy with life the way it is. Stop focusing on finding someone and focus on enjoying life as you have it right now. When you stop looking, he'll find you!
...............................
|
