A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've started dating a guy from work, and so far, it's going great :) He's handsome, thoughtful, funny, kind, sexy and we just get along really well. He's told me he feels giddy around me, like a kid, and I feel the same about him. He's arranged some amazing dates for us, and only kissed me for the first time yesterday, hasn't tried anything else on, and is great at initiating contact and keeping in touch :)Thing is, on his FaceBook page, it shows he is signed up for a dating application to help you locate "hot girls and guys" in your area. Now, the rational part of me says he probably signed up for this ages ago (he's been single for a while), so there is absolutely no need to worry. But, what complicates it is the non-rational side of me. His friends are mainly players and cheats, which is what he has openly told me, and he has told me about how they laugh at him for being the one with morals. He's introduced me to a couple of his friends who he says aren't like that, and who he respects, though.The other problem is that my ex, who I split up with 9 months ago after 8 years together, had cheated on me via these adult dating site things. I'm trying not to let that influence me, and me and the new guy haven't had a discussion about whether we're planning to be exclusive or anything yet. But I'm wary of getting hurt again. He seems genuine, but part of me wonders if he's saying all the right things just to seduce me? That maybe he does the same with other girls? Which he is entitled to do as things stand, but I guess it took me a long time to get over finding out what my ex was doing, and it just raised a few alarm bells. I'm hoping I'm just being stupid and that you'll reassure me it's nothing to worry about, but I'd love your opinions either way, and any advice on how not to let what happened with my ex get in the way this time around. Thanks so much. :) x
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female
reader, tblondie1826  +, writes (23 September 2010):
I'm the same way. I let my past relationships make me paranoid. I always think my boyfriend is ignoring me because that is what my ex did...he'd ignore me for days at a time. but anyway, I would not bring it up until you are exclusive. Then after about a month(or if you notice anything funny) check to see if it's deleted if not kindly confront him about it and tell him about your past and how him being involved in a site like that worries you. if he cares for you he will kindly remove it, if he gets defensive than he is most likely a player and that's when you run for the hills and thank God you found out after a month instead of another 8 years.
Goodluck:)
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