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male
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anonymous
writes: The No Contact RuleMy wife recently separated from me. I still love her and would love her to come back to me, but she says that she can't be friends anymore, as she knows no other separated couples that are friends. It has been suggested to me that I instigate the 'no contact' rule. Even though I want to call and e-mail all the time, I am advised not to. Does this work, or will she just take it as a sign to carry on with what she is doing, without fear of interference? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (11 September 2006):
 NO CONTACT!!!! Tried it. The only thing I can say is this. When you have no contact make sure you have no contact FOR YOU!!! Having no contact in an effort to win her back or make her miss you still leaves you mind in limbo. You have to do this in the best interest for yourself. Painful and as hard as it may be but you have to move on. Its a very delicate thing when you love someone not to conact them. Be strong and move on for you. Being friends is not what its cracked up to be when you love someone also. Maybe this is the best way to move on. Good Luck.
A
male
reader, CRS698 +, writes (11 September 2006):
 Hi there, The no contact rule would maybe be a good idea, until you've moved on with your own life at least. If not you will always be connected to your ex and will not be able to get on with your own life. If your separated then you need to separate yourself and move on, as painful as it will be.
I hope it works out for you.
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A
female
reader, Angel_A +, writes (11 September 2006):
 Sorry to hear you're seperated, especially as your ex doesn't want to be friends either at the moment. I do think it's possible to be friends, but probably not until you have both accepted that the relationship is over.
I think no contact is the right thing to do just now, not contacting her will be a real test to see if she WANTS to contact you or not. The risk is that she will be happy moving on with her life though, so be prepared that she has made her decision and will stick with it.
On the other hand she may realise what she had with you and miss you,
I hope it works out for you
x
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