| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My friend, who is a girl, and I are best friends. We are really close and I trust her with almost everything. We have sleepovers a lot and always sleep in same bed and cuddle. Is that wrong? sometimes we stay up all night just hugging or rubbing each others arms. But never kiss or anything else! we just are really close and i never really had physical affection from my family like they wouldn't give me many hugs or kisses.. and kind of hurts me. but when its my best friend and i and she hugs me i feel loved and protected. but we are both NOT lesbians or bi or anything.. but is that wrong for best friends to be that close?? :/
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Honest Answer  +, writes (2 January 2011):
 If you are happy, and she is happy, who else do you need to please? You are close friends. I see nothing wrong with your relationship.
Good Luck!
Jeff
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (2 January 2011):
No, I have plenty of female friends who do that sort of stuff to each other. Its not wrong by any means. But I bet you're interested in a boring anecdote that scientifically explains why you enjoy it :D Bear with me, I'm a bit of geek when it comes to relationship psychology.
When females hug, or are hugged, their brains release a small supply of hormones called Oxytocin. Oxytocin is a feel good chemical that effects neurotransmitters in the brain and gives a pleasurable sensation; this often gives the female a certain connection with the person they are hugging. Many of my female friends have admitted that they have much closer friendships with the friends they hug often. Fun fact: Large amounts of Oxytocin are released during orgasm.
This is why women often feel more attached to someone after having sex with them; the Oxytocin in their systems is actually a bonding agent which causes them to associate the pleasurable and safe feelings with that person. As it has been noted, women (stereotypically as it may be) tend to be "clingier" to a guy after they first have sex.
The female nerve receptors are more sensitive and their systems are more prone to release this hormone just at the touch! (men are more visually oriented) So, while hugging releases just a small amount of Oxytocin, it is enough to create a bond with someone; you'll notice you'll feel safer and happier around those you are comfortable hugging.
So yeah...now you know ;)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): no that is not wrong at all! i am that close with my best friend too so believe me its fine!
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A
female
reader, NicoleMarie +, writes (2 January 2011):
 Hi(:
Happy New Year(:
No, I dont't think you're too close. If she is like a sister to you, and you love her like family, it's perfectly fine. Don't worry about it I know alot of people who do practically the same thing with their best friends. So to answer your question, no I don't think you're too close.
Hope I helped.(:
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): Not at all so don't feel like its wrong. I'm straight and do that with a few of my closest girl friends.
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A
female
reader, Crazylover +, writes (2 January 2011):
No not at all..... Me and my friend are the same wag. We rub eagothwr backs and everything. It's like people think were lesbians but were like sisters
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2011): No, I do not believe it's wrong at all. I was the same way with a very close friend of mine. People even started accusing us of dating. It got annoying, but I got used to it. I don't think it is possible to be "too close" to her, you are best friends, probably have been through a lot together, and love eachother like sisters. I know exactly what you're going through and don't change anything in your relationship with this friend, for that could cause huge problems in your life. Love this friend, be close with her, its completly normal and healthy to have someone that you can trust with anything.
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