A
male
age
30-35,
*geek
writes:Please be patient this is long and is also asking more than one question...My girlfriend and I broke up from a long distance relationship about 2.5 months ago because of a misunderstanding. She didn't believe I loved her. And for about 2 and 1/4 months we talked every once in a while, then she met a guy whom she said she loved and who she said loved her and then I voiced my concerns about that saying you will find out in the long run...and he hurt her...got her to skip school and so on........and then we barely talked from then on but I still loved her. When I talked to her she said that she still loved me too but then for two weeks she never called, never picked up her phone, never phoned me back, never replied to any of my e-mails, messages, or comments......and yes she was online every once in a while but she never replied, or responded in any.Then last weekend she calls me out of the blue and she was happy. We talked, had a good conversation and we said we both loved each other and we hung up.......then about 30 minutes later my mother comes and tells me that she had just talked to my ex girlfriend's parents and that they where willing to come over and pick me up and bring me to vale (like 100 miles away) so I could go to a dance with their daughter and that I would sleep at their house and then the would drive me home. That completely caught me off guard but I said okay sure and they picked me up and we got to vale and I hung out with (sorry for using her real name but I don't you to be confused) Mishayla (ex gf) in her room and I laid down on her bed beside her then I held her and she fell asleep on my chest......then we went to the dance....I am not the type of person that goes to dances too often but I went and we were there and her ex boyfriend Max (the one that she went out with while we where broken up) was there but she seemed to try and stay clear of him so I wasn't worried. First slow dance we danced and then the second one came around and Max jumps up and asks her to dance and she does and I thought oh well, he felt like dancing.....didn't really think on it much....and then the third one came around and I was right outside the door to the place where the dance was going on. I go in and there she is dancing with Max again and she was completely hugging him and had her head on his shoulder. This for some reason infuriated me. She never noticed me come in and it looked like she was seriously loving being with Max....that just hurt....and then I left again because I felt sick.....and came back to them dirty dancing and her loving it again. The dance kept going on like this and then she was dancing with Max again and she gave me a pleading look....like your supposed to ask me......I was he was always there right before me......and then after the dance she tells me she was sorry and that we would be able to spend the next day together without all the other people.I slept at her house, got up the next morning and took her to lunch and we talked she ate my friend.....etc and we walked back....and her parents where getting ready to bring me back to burns and Mishayla and I went to her room and she laid down and was out like a light.....and then we left soon after Mishayla came along and we where in the car for a while and I held her and so on.We got to my house she came in with me and we hugged and said our farewells. I kissed her and she left........ As the week progresses I sent some emails, messages try and phone her and she never replied or responds........and also as the week progresses I find her Myspace and come to find out that she still loves Max and that she still classifies him as the one she has loved the most and that she would love him if she was aloud to and this hurts a lot, then as I was outside working she called but I wasn't at the phone to answer so I tried calling her back later and her phone rings and eventually I get her voice mail, leave a message and then got on the internet and find out she never replied back to my last message and that she had been on and then she does log on. She logs onto Windows messenger and I try and talk but I never get a reply the only thing she said was hi after I said hey a couple times....and then she logs off 10 minutes later.........I have no idea what to do.......this is completely killing me.....breaking my heart again and again.....but no mater what she says or dose i still love her.....I would still do anything for her......and what is killing me is that she still loves Max......and that scares me....I am frightened that I will lose her to Max......I have no idea what to do here because I am hurting......and we where together after the weekend....but....she doesn't reply to anything.......thank you very much for reading........please help.....
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broke up, ex girlfriend, her ex, long distance, move on, my ex, myspace, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2007): You must feel really terrible right now but things will get better soon.I think that you have to realise that she probably is using you until she feels she can get back together with this idiot max. She does not sound like someone who deserves a person like you and as i have been involved with many characters such as her i would make one last attempt to tell her how you feel and then if she still messes about with you and your feelings you have to forget about her. It will be difficult but do not contact her till she does or if ashe doesnt not at all.She cannot care very much for you to be treating you like this and trust me there is someone out there who will. I suggest you keep yourself occupied with anything(school work mates and hobbies)so you are distracted. Good luck
A
reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (17 March 2007):
 Okay, here goes, Im not gonna hold back on what I think! First off, you seem like a complete doormat to this girl. I know its a harsh statement but you have to realise you are giving this girl every opportunity to kick you in the butt, pick you up, kick you again, and you know how it goes! And that is exactly what she's doing here. Look, Im not saying shes nasty, but one things for sure, shes a very indecisive girl, and in the meantime, she wants him more, but still wants you at the sidelines, just in case things dont work out with this other guy or whatever her reasoning is. Wake up man! Are you waiting for her to get together with this other guy before you start waking up?! Or do you need to see it with your own eyes the both of them kissing passionately before you realise her heart isnt with you?!
I know its hard to let go, but letting go is the only way you're ever going to get her to like you the way she did, if ever again! The more you smoulder her with your myspace msges/MSN messenger msges/phonecalls/txts/etc, the faster you're gonna lose her, like you already are, and you dont even realise it! What you should be doing is leaving her be, ignoring her calls, and telling her that until shes made up her mind who she wants to be with for real, you're going to have to move on with your life with or without her. Its painful, yes! But trust me when I say its much more painful when she picks you up and drops you down over and over again! Unless you actually enjoy the beating then go for it, but I dont think you do. Take my advice on this, just let her stew in her indecisiveness without interfering every 10 minutes by calling her. How do expect her to miss you when you keep calling her by the minute??! What you wanna try to do is to make her realise that its her lost not choosing you, not the other way around. In other words, grow a backbone and be strong about leaving her. In the event that she chooses this other guy over you, at least you've already psyched yourself for the worst that couldve happen. I hope this helps!
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