A
male
 ,
anonymous
writes:I'm worried that my personality could affect me from having a long term relationship with a girl. I'll have to explain why.I must admit I hated high school. I was bullied for the entire 5 years I was there by the same person. He would make fun of my voice, put me down, call me a weakling etc. I even went to the headteacher but that only made the bullying worse.Although when we went to sixth form although we sorted out our differences some older kids started to do the same again so really I was bullied for 6 years. I couldn't even go to the teacher because they say bullying never happens at 6th form.Since then I'm more depressed and no longer get emotional about things (I can't remember the last time I cried). What should I do to change all this?
View related questions:
bullied, depressed Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Helen Help! :) +, writes (12 June 2006):
 Hey HuniThis isnt something your going to easily forget but instead of thinking about it all the time try and focus on the good things that u have in life like your family, you have a roof over your head, you have friends, you get to eat everyday. After all ITS OVER and thats what you have to keep telling yourself. when im down i dont let myself stay like it for long i put on my favourite tunes dance around to them jus on my own while cleanin my room n it cheers me up loads because it take my mind off my troubles, itll take along time to get over and the memories will always be there u jus have to find away to keep thm out of your thoughts n when you do meet sum1 special trust me thy wont be there at all cuz all you'll think about is them so i wouldnt worry about it from a relationship point of view and even if it does still get u down when ur with someone ull have some1 you trust to talk to about it and wholl cheer you up. Good luck keep smiling:)Helen x
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (11 June 2006):
 You shouldn't feel bad about this, or let it plague your adult life. Basically the problem is with the bully, not the victim - they are very unhappy people who lash out at others because it is their only comfort. Teachers are sometimes not very helpful at dealing with bullying issues. Your response is normal under prolonged stress, and you can get specialist counselling for this problem. BUT the best way to deal with this is to learn to stand up for yourself (or else you will find bullying a problem in workplaces etc), de-sensitise yourself from the name-calling by learning to laugh about whatever they say (and laugh in front of them as they get their kicks from hurting you), and learn to like yourself a bit more - confident, independent people are just not that bothered by nasty comments. I truely understand how you feel. I had to deal with name calling and a few fights at school, some nasty colleagues at work over the years and more recently, a horrible neighbour in our apartment block who sits in her garden vindictively gossiping about me to whoever will hear...I don't take much notice as we call her 'Vicky Pollard' (If you are in the UK and have seen Little Britain then you will know what I mean). While she describes with animation all the things she thinks is wrong with me...I just smile about it as it is a sad reflection on her own life if she has nothing better to do with her time than think about a near stranger! I think you should start thinking the same way about this problem - if you were not a special person then people wouldn't feel the need to pick on you and you wouldnt stand out enough to get attention.
I accept that bullying hurts, but I developed a certain resilience and an attitude that means I am very resistant to other people's nasty comments. I suggest that you do the same. Take Care!
...............................
|
