A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I want to ask my girlfriend to marry me. The engagement ring I intend to give to her is a Family heirloom. My father gave it to my mother. The ring is lovely and I'm sure she would like it. However, I have been married before and used the ring to propose to my now ex-wife. I am worried that my girlfriend will be upset if I use the same ring for her. The ring has great sentimental value to me but her feelings are more important.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): i wouldnt use it on my girlfriend. if i was to do that it would hurt her and she would think that she is a replacement for my ex. if my ex had the ring i would pawn it,sell it or give it to another member of the family.
A
female
reader, jkobeska  +, writes (20 January 2008):
just ask her what she would rather have.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2008): i say give her the family heirloom but buy her another ring too since you dont have to spend any money on getting an engagement ring anyways...its the thought that counts...im sure she would be pretty excited to know you really considered her feelings over the family's heirloom.im sure your family would understand too.yea i guess its a little more costly but anything to make your woman happy rite??
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (16 January 2008):
 It's probably in bad taste regardless of the sentimental factor. Not only that, but it would seem like it carries a bit of bad luck now. Why pass that on to your new wife? Buy her a new ring. You can always save your mother's ring and give it to your daughter, should you later have one. Or turn it into a pendant and let your wife later wear it as a necklace. It'll seem "transformed" and less likely to remind her that it's the same piece of jewelry you wed your last wife with. Good luck.
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