A
female
age
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*llen3
writes:Hiya. I could do with some advice please. I am 44 and was going out with my partner for five years, we decided to move in together, as he lives in Northern Ireland and I live in Southern Ireland, So I moved to Northern Ireland along with my 14 year old son,Things were not great between us when we moved in together, as it was a new country and I knew nobody, after just a few weeks my partners 17 year old daughter also moved in, well that was the end of us, so to speak, I found it really difficult. two familys living together, as my son did not like his daughter and visa virsa, I had an idea something was going on with my partner, so started checking his phone, it ended up he went out with another girl age 26, he seen her for two dates. after I discovered this I asked him to move out which he did. that was 8 months ago, since then we have been in touch on and off, and have started dating again, I really love him and he says he loves me, that he made a mistake, and wants us to live together, but I am afraid as what happened before, also my son does not like him, because of what he did on me, I told my partner I dont know if I could and I did not think it would work out with our two seperate familys again, when my partner and me are on our own, we get on really well, and are good together, but he says he does not want to wait for 5 or 10 years till my son moves out, I said if you really wanted me you would, please tell me what you think, as I think I would give him another chance, but would not live with him with our two seperate familys, but at the moment they are there
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reader, Laura1318  +, writes (16 January 2008):
 The problem is your son. Send him to a boarding school.If you cannot do that , there is no way you will get together with that man.
You cannot expect a man to wait 5 or 10 years .When your son leave you , you will be all alone .
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female
reader, NICOLE28  +, writes (15 January 2008):
Hi, I am a Mom of three so I can understand how blending two families with teenagers can be very difficult! I don't think that waiting until your children are old enough is the answer. If you truly plan to stay together as life partners or marry some day you should help the children bond. You and your significant other have had time to bond and love each other. The kids need bonding time as well. I suggest setting up frequent family time with the kids interests in mind with things they like to do. Set the kids down together and each of you speak to them about what is going to happen and this is what they need to accept and they love you so they will come around. Act as a family before living together again so the transition is better. If you live to far away schedule as much as possible. Go to movies, eat dinner, have family game night that forces the kids to interact as a team! I hope this is helpful....good luck to you!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): I am a Mom of three so I understand how this can be a challange. I would try some sort of family outings more for the kids to have fun together and bond as a family. It is never easy to blend familyies especaially at those ages kids think they know everything. You and your mate have had time to bond give the kids some time to do the same!
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