A
male
age
30-35,
*oxxus
writes:Hi,I was once at the peek of my life, had friends, had a GF who i loved and respected. life was great until 1 day my ex turns round to me and tells me that she never really loved me and the only reason she ever went out with me was because i looked like my best mate at the time and he was not single at the time we got together, she told me that she always thought about him while we cuddled, kissed and had sex.She then turned all my mates against me and i was left with my face in a gutter with my old best mates foot on my head... i was without friends for many years after that... i met her at collage in my class along with my mates so after the incident i had to leave my course because my life was a nightmare.I was without any friends for 2 years.over the 2 years i have been very very lonely and all i think about are the times when i was happy in that relationship but then i remember it was all false and i never really felt those feelings that i long for now.Women don't seem to like me, i've met a few women i have liked and even come close to falling in love over the years but all of them turned me down as if i was a plague... i'm not ugly, i'm actually quite handsome in my opinion and its not like my "thing" is tiny cause it aint, I'm a very nice guy, very understanding and I like to think i treat women like princesses. I don't see what is wrong with me!!women are just not interested in me and i wonder why i bother with hope cause it only leaves me with more and more disappointment that leaves me struggling to get out of bed in the morning.I am very lonely and it hurts each time to see my new uni mates having girlfriends and getting serious. I've got to a point that even seeing romance on TV makes my blood boil and i ask "why cant i have that?".This LUST, this ENVY and my Anger has turned me very sour and bitter and i'm slowly destroying myself.My heart wants to find love again, even dating would be a wonderful step up and raise my self esteem.All i think about is being able to hold someone and feel loved, to cuddle up to someone and feel like i mean something to someone, to be able to wake up to someone and find that she's been holding me all night.I know its silly and only really happens in fairy tales but it's what keeps me going...I hope somebody will give a damn about what i have written and try to help me. I am a broken man...
View related questions:
my ex, self esteem Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): yes offcause your heart could be mended,heal n can find love again if one allow it.i fell in love with this young guy and to explain how i feel about him i couldn't explain or tell.i was sooo happy wiv him and to see him and talk to him make me happy,smile n brighter.we were in a relationship for good two and a half years,i always thought of him thinking he was my world and even though i dnt have much to give i got the love for him.he make me believed in him and he make much more promise to me that he love me much and how he is scared to loss me and stuffs...i couldnt have hurt him for a day cos even when i try i couldnt stand myself to do that so was really faithful to him till one day getting to christmas when his mum was coming to visit him for holiday as he is in a soldier.i didnt heard from him.when i go out to mates he is sooo insecure and paranoid i was doing something elsed which i aint.he texted one day on me way to see me brother that he is not ready to settle down and many things i couldnt understand.i was sooo messed up and soo weak to believed what kind of a man will damp a lady by a text.he aint a man but still child on me eyes.what did he know about reality and love!i called him cried on him to take me back cos my heart was like boomshell.sooo hurt!couldnt eat or sleep,i later texted to one of his mates to talk to him that i love him sooo much and why is he hurting me.my ex ignore me for some months.one day i was up town wiv me cousin and niece n i saw him with his mates and he called me name out i shunned him off and pretended he doesnt exit to me.i went off!he later called me askin to see me,i went off to see him and he was begging me please i should forgive him and he was soo much stress and fuck up that he regretted every pain he put me through and i told him i forgive him and we could start it all over again.things were going so great till he change again dnt call acting wired and fleaming me like i was doing wrong and making me think and lossing weight.i sat in my room to cry and compare all the guys i bein with how they treat me good but go our separate way cos i wasnt in love with them.he doesnt give me anything no special gift is like jst he want me jst for sex.one day i found out he was taking pictures wiv all differnt females and i was disgusted by him how he think it wont hurt me.i keep it soo long in me that me family think he is not good for me and i deserved someone who knows how to treat a woman with respect not like rag the way he was.i was online one day and i send a msg to him asking him why is he hurting me like this,he send back and say is not working.i toold him what did he want me to do??he couldnt asked then something tells me to jst asked him one question,i asked him did he loves me and the answer was why?he then was like huni is not what you think am not ready to settle but who told him am ready to settle down.i then remove him from my contact list.i was sooo much in love that i wanted him to love me the way i do but i think he dnt.later to the date i was in messed and one day i woke up and is like why should i let this man make my life hell why.i keep asking myself question afta question.is hard forgetting about someone u trully love but i used all his nasty things he done to me and the more i think of it the more i hated him for what he have done to me wasted my time and rejected every man afta man throwing words to them that am sooo much in love with him.i end up week and now i dont get the energy to love him now but see him like nobody.love is pain but one dont have to let it destroy them.am strong person sooo happy with my family support all they all glad i let him go.now i can concentrate in my life and God bein good he send me someone sooo better than what i thought was everything to me.am heal with the pain now and wherever he is now is jst jah i give to him to forgive him and make him happy.i care about him but nay not in love again with him.i told him he shouldnt contact me again to wanted me back but can contact bein a friend.so you see thing happen for reason.sometime we live with people we say they love us but yet is not love.how can someone hurt you upon makin you believed in them and try destroying you why??using ur heart like a chessboard.nasty people we got there.when someone hurt you have faith and believed yourself the pain can be heal and you can move on far better than u are with them.am happy girl dont take notices of what he does anymore,he can go and play round i dont care.i got my life to think of than a losers.believed yourself you can be heal.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): Ok, Nox, you got the ball,...now run with it. And never forget,..YOU DA MAN!
...............................
A
male
reader, Noxxus +, writes (1 December 2008):
Noxxus is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you people for your time, you lot at least have given me some strengh today :)
made me even smile :D teehee
thats a good start.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): I feel for your problem, Noxxus, but you can't go on like this. So, you got dealt a dirty deal. It happens to us all. You were played for a fool. This also happens to most of us at some time or other. You say "women" just don't like you. What women? Maybe you are attracted to the wrong type of woman for you. I agree with SinVA, why don't you get involved in some groups with the same interests you have and meet some different people. Sometimes, the type of woman we think we like is just totally wrong for us. And keep your face off the ground! You seem like a decent guy with a lot to offer. There is somebody out there who will recognize that. But, you have to give it a chance. Go find her. Best wishes, Tom.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): Oh hun. . . To begin with i'm sorry. . . Feeling alone and being alone hurts. If you keep concentrating on what you don't have, you'll never be thankful for what you do have. Throw yourself into school, or your job, or whatever it is thats going on in your life at the moment. Strengthen your family relationships, try new things (a great way to meet women, and learn more about yourself!) and try to be optimistic. Love will come when you least expect it, and when your not looking for it :) best wishes! Xoxo
...............................
A
male
reader, SinVA  +, writes (1 December 2008):
Wow man, I thought my ex cheating on me was rough but the things your slut-of-an-ex said are horrible. Forget about her, to say somthing like that is trash, and she is nothing more than a bitch who will never find a decent man.
Look, after my breakup i've been, and still am, relatively friendless. I made the mistake of hanging out only with my ex when we were dating, so now i'm pretty lonely. I want to be in a relationship badly, but i'm realizing that rushing into something is not the way to do it.
First off, forget about your ex. In my case I have to see her a couple times a week, but I just try and ignore her outright for what she did. Your ex was a bitch, forget about her.
To beat your lonlieness join tons of activities till you find something you really enjoy. When I was in that relationship, like I said, i did nothing but hang out with my ex, and maybe the occasional fun event. Now I play soccer for a couple hours every other day, go to the gym, and I joined various clubs at my college not only because of interest but because it helps you to meet people. I picked up boxing and am learning to play an instrument. Learn something new, man.
Start checking out the different groups and stuff on campus, and see if you can find something you like. Rather than focus on entering a relationship, and i'm on this step too, forget about 'falling in love and dating' every girl who socializes with you and just be friendly, and when the time comes for a relationship you will know.
Lastly, something my brother always reminds me off whenever i get depressed about my love life. You're only 21, your life isn't over, you will meet someone better and laugh at how stupid you were for ever giving that bitch the time of the day.
Message me if you still feel like shit and need to talk. take it easy and good luck my brother.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): Ok.. what iv noticed is is that you obviously seem quite upset, almost depressed. And what im wondering is... are you like this with the women that you have had over the years? Or maybe even too "clingy"? Because you seem like an awesum man, but hurt. In one of my recent relationships, my bf really liked me, but always was well too "clingy", and always lifted me up, but maybe a little too much. And you also mentioned something about treating women like princesses... *women like to be treated as *queens. Its the same reason why we prefer sexy over cute. Just try to hold your own, be supportive, outgoing,encouraging, respectful, patient, but most importantly be *yourself. =)
...............................
|
