A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I always have a difficulty when I study. I have sex feelings, which disturb me during my studies. What can I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): "This is a joke, right? You are old enough not to have to ask help with this."
This was what you had written.you were brushing him off.
Before helping out with a question you need to understand our culture.
We don't start dating at 13-15.Sex is taboo every where.Not that kids don't talk about it.
Our parents are very strict.Education is given the first priority.
At times dirty magazines are passed from friends to friends.
A kid who is brought up in such a strict environment gets confused when he realizes there is such a thing around.
He might have had sexual feelings before.But he must have got disturbed when he saw those images for the first time.That's what must be taking away the concentration.
If you had taken him seriously the first time around,I wouldn't have contradicted you.your answer is exactly what he needed.
If he is watching porn or into dirty magazines,it should stop as well.
In India,Where the student's IQ is really high,its essential that he concentrates in his studies.Otherwise He would lag behind.His friends go ahead.He stays where he is.It leads to a low self esteem.I wouldn't wish that on any kid especially from our country.
If he cannot study,it is not that easy to get into sports.You need to be rich or have an influence in politics or know people.Its a No win situation for everyone around.
Thankfully things are improving.New fields of profession are slowly starting to come up.We have a long way to go.We will definitely get there.Till then we need to survive.
Jai Hind!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2008): Well, Auntie Bugs, I don't think it matters that he is Indian. His "problem" is universal. And boys don't have to watch porn or look at at "dirty" magazines to have sexual thoughts often. You are female, which I am not disparaging, but you really have no idea. Males become sexually developed before females, contrary to the general thinking. Girls develop the outward female physical appearances early, because of estrogen. They may even grow taller for a year or so. And they gain in fat deposits. But, they are far behind boys in actual sexual developement. Girls do not generally begin even producing ovum until they are thirteen or fourteen. Boys are producing fertile sperm long before that. And they are putting on muscle..if they are as active as they should be. If their longbones grew at the same rate as girls, their bones would outgrow their muscle deveolpment. And I was not being crass. He is not just "beginning" his adolescence. He has been into it for a long time if he is honest about his age. I would advise "Anon" to become more physically active. Get more involved in sports or work out on your own. You have abundant energy at your age. You can channel it into active, physical efforts...or it will channel itself..into sexual outlet. When you let the energy loose in such things as sports or exercise, you can then concentrate more on your studies.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): Well Friend Tom he is Indian.I don't think this is a joke.
First of all you are starting your adolescence.
To help you with your question,
Answer a few questions of mine
1.Do you watch porn
2.Do your read dirty magazines
Please do get back.I am not going to laugh at you.I am not going to make fun of you.I have a son myself.I am glad you reached out for help.
Take care.
Aunt Bugs
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): Masturbate, that should help you to clear your mind and then get on with your studies.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): This is a joke, right? You are old enough not to have to ask help with this.
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