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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I know this is a generalization. But would you say it is reasonable to assume that many or most or at least some men would take average, mediocre or even bad sex over having no sex at all? For example, if they are on a business trip or away from their wives or gf's, if they were so inclined, would they indulge in sex with someone temporarily for a short time (fling) just to get any sex at all? (ie. Beggars can't be choosers, don't look a gift horse in the mouth) Because they have physical needs? Which would be better than using their own hand? And the sex may not be nearly as good as the sex they have at home or on the regular? So the person they have sex with is being used temporarily as a human sex toy? No emotional attachment?
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (26 March 2021):
 On this site we read all sorts of posts from a wide variety of people. The insight into human nature is one of the interesting things about being on this site (for me, at least). It does make me groan, however, when I read a post in which the writer is very obviously not asking the question they really want to ask but, instead, "generalizing", which is completely pointless because everyone is different and there is no such thing as an "in general" man (or woman, for that matter). Everyone is different, everyone has different morals and different characters, and everyone's situations are individual.
I am guessing you have had a bad experience with a partner (or, possibly, a few partners) and are now trying to justify/understand the latest betrayal. I am also guessing he has told you all the things you ask about in your post, i.e. that all men need sex when away from their partners, that it doesn't mean anything and is not usually even that enjoyable, etc. So let's say we agree with this take on cheating, then surely you need to ask the question, why would someone risk what they have at home for poor meaningless sex with a stranger? Is that all the person at home is worth? Do they not deserve more respect?
Yes, there ARE men who will cheat as soon as they are out of sight of their partners. There are also women who do the same; this is not a male privilege. This says everything about the cheaters and about their lack of morals. Trying to justify their actions by making out "men in general" do this is just BS. If someone cannot/will not stay faithful, then they should not be in a relationship in which the other party expects fidelity.
People cheat because they CAN and because, usually, they believe they won't get caught. There is very VERY seldom any "justification" and it certainly isn't that "men in general" behave this way.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2021): P.S.
I note the insinuations and innuendo in your post; but I will assure you, that "generally" everyone is capable of sexual-misconduct and irresponsibility. We men don't corner the market on that! Women aren't all victims, and men aren't all scoundrels or pervs. In spite of what you may think, or whatever your experience has been.
You're not speaking in generalities, but making veiled suggestions. All in a weak attempt to deflect any rebuttal. You're not curious to gain an understanding of something about men. You've already formed a very negative-opinion. You're throwing curves and barbs, and I see right through you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2021): Typo correction:
" Anywhere and everywhere we're looking for sex."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2021): Your question is sexist and loaded with implication. I know veiled male-bashing when I see it. No matter how subtle or sugar-coated it is! The tone is what one might say to be nice-nasty!
If you read between the lines, you are suggesting that men are so promiscuous, apt to cheat, and sexually perverse; that we can't control ourselves. Given the chance, we would jump for anything as long as we'd get-off. Anywhere and everywhere we're looking sex.
Seen through the eyes of someone who has made several bad choices, has been abused, or is quite bitter. I would understand how they might imply such things. That doesn't make it true...speaking in general!
Like anything in life, quality beats quantity. In desperate situations, it is human nature to settle for what you can get in a famine or a shortage. Men are a lot more complex than you might want to believe.
Regardless of gender, you'd prefer that which is deeply satisfying or fulfilling. Everyone's goal is to seek that which gives you the most pleasure, happiness, and comfort. Everyone has the proclivity to be needy or greedy.
Men are not mindless-penises running around looking for sex, or any random hole to poke.
If you've had several bad experiences with some; keep searching, and you'll find better.
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A
female
reader, EmmyApple  +, writes (26 March 2021):
My husband has a huge sex drive and says he “needs it” every single day. We have sex a lot but if I’m not able to one night, he will just masturbate instead. He has never cheated. To answer your question, no I don’t think guys cheat for sex. Not good guys! But guys have sexual needs and might need to masturbate. Which requires stimulation so they watch hot girls on the internet. I don’t really like him doing that so I try to satisfy him myself as much as possible so he won’t need to masturbate in the first place.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2021): I assure you if you are in a committed and loving relationship and very well matched with your partner then I think you will find casual sex extremely disappointing and down right sickening. I hope that answers your question.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2021): Thanks all. It is the OP. But what I am wondering is do men have the ability to say NO to casual sex? I have read a study recently that says 70 per cent of men are open to casual sex with a woman who is not even all that attractive. Whereas for a woman to even consider casual sex, the guy had better be HOT. Or they would not have casual sex with an average or below average man. It seems for biological and evolutional reasons, women are pickier when pairing up with a man. They want the best of the best to raise their offspring. Whereas men can spread their seed far and wide and into old age and are not as choosy. They will have offspring with various women which guarantees their surviving genes. In general, men are most likely to have casual sex which means no emotions involved and no relationship as a result of that casual sex.
So, what I am saying is that if men are programmed to spread their seed, which means they are also programmed for casual sex, are they actually capable of ABSTAINING from casual sex when they are away from their wives/gf's for an extended period of time? Or will they just do what men are programmed to do? Spread their seed? Because they cannot resist what nature wants them to do?
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (25 March 2021):
 Your asking would a guy in a committed relationship, if they were away on a business trip, away from their wives, girlfriends, would they have a fling with someone else just to get any sex at all?.
You could come up with all sorts of relationship scenarios with this question, covering all bases but that would just be pointless and drone on to long. So i'm just wondering what the real point of your question is all about.
There are no excuses for cheating, stick with the person you are married to or in a relationship with, or walk away. end of.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 March 2021):
 It's not like sex is comparable to air. We NEED air to breathe and live. We do NOT NEED sex to live.
Sure people have physical desires (I wouldn't call them needs because they CAN forgo them - anyone can, it all depends on the willpower and character of a person).
Just because you (general you) are horny doesn't mean you HAVE to have sex to fulfill that need HERE AND NOW.
Just like you can do fine without a $7000 purse. You might WANT one but you can do just fine in life without.
If a man (or woman) agrees to a MONOGAMOUS and FAITHFUL marriage then being horny while away is no excuse to cheat. A guy's dick isn't going to fall off if he doesn't stick it somewhere. Same for a woman.
As for HOW the CHEATER feels about the person he/she cheats with - that is impossible for us to guess. In the end though, WHY settle for a guy who is ALREADY married and taken and who provides mediocre sex apparently?
In short, there is no excuse to cheat.
Nor is there a good excuse to become the affair partner of a cheater. It's all just LACK of morals, values, and respect for themselves and their partner.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (25 March 2021):
 Experience points in another direction. With the use of hands and the ready availability of pornography. . .
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