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Will me being a "long stayer" cause her problems?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 December 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 16 December 2010)
A male United States age 30-35, *eeyawn writes:

Ok, Me and my girlfriend are gonna be moving in with each other, To make the long story short. we will be having sex a lot, and I usally last about 2-4 hours, We have had sex about 3 times and we have been together for 6 months, I just want to know if I will be hurting her during sex if we have it to much? (I know that I will give us space to "recover") But can I cause damage?

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (16 December 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntIf you last that long - yes, actually. It can be painful and very tiring. Even when I participate in what certain people on here term "advanced sexual activity" the time period is limited to an hour or so. THe thing is, sex is fun, but there is such a thing as over-doing it that may lead to pain/injuries etc. @Chigirl makes some valid points. Pay attention.

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (16 December 2010):

TasteofIndia agony auntHi sweet thing,

Honestly, yes. When my fella exceeds 45 minutes, I start to get a little bit physically exhausted. If he is needing to sex me up for hours, what I prefer is he gives me foreplay all day - let me tease him before work, give him oral on his lunch break (but not finish), and then in the evening he is ready to go!!

Focus on teasing yourself with foreplay that lasts, so that she's up and ready for as much as she can handle. Talk to her about what her ideal sack session looks like! You may learn some fun new things about her! Then find a good compromise so that you both can accommodate each other. I have a feeling this will be fun for the both of you! Maybe you will find she also enjoys super long lovemaking sessions... you never know until you talk it over! Good luck!

P.S. If you are just moving in, welcome to the first conversation of many awkward conversations you will have. If you want to live harmoniously, you will get over any fear you have of opening up, staying relaxed and compromising.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (15 December 2010):

chigirl agony auntYes you can cause damage if she's not wet enough all the time. Tell her to be completely honest about when it starts to hurt and then you should stop, this will prevent it. The damage might not be permanent, but it is easy if you over-do things that she might bleed, get a rift in her skin down there, and healing will take it's time (we're talking 2-4 weeks approximately to heal a small rift). These rifts, or wearing down, is often caused by too much friction. Women in general aren't able to stay wet for too long, and once they aren't wet enough the friction becomes too much.

However she could be outside of the box and it will work just fine. Just tell her to let you know if and when it starts to hurt and then call it quits at that point. But do stop if she starts to hurt, if you continue after that, even for just two minutes more, you can cause damage and pain for her later on. Main such as she will hurt while moving, hurt while peeing, hurt in general...

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