A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid, I am a single young woman raised three children on my own fell in deep depression after losing my first born daughter to natural causes I made it through by GOD's Grace. My second daughter has graduated and is now working. My son is the last one to leave he is still in school. I have been through a lot in my life drugs,drinking ,and being abused mentally,physically,and emotionally by my kids dads. I have two kids by one guy and one with the other guy.I left the city where I used to live to go to another state to better me giving myself a chance to live because I was dying literally and I knew it. My kids are grown now and to tell the truth I am in great fear to go back into the dating scene I don't know where to go or what to do.I just try and be patient and wait on God. I am in fear of men hurting me worst than what these cowards have done. I just want to live life free from all abuse. I want to love and love somebody with all that I have but I can't because of Fear. How can I over come this darkness in my life?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2013): Thanks for all the feed back I have been clean from everything for ten years now I don't drink.get high,or have sex I am just doing me now that's all that matters I feel in due time my prayers will be answered.Thanks:)
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (6 March 2013):
 First off, you deserve a lot of credit for the positive actions you've taken. Getting out of abusive relationships and cleaning up from drugs is no small task. Only a few lucky ones actually get to experience sobriety for any substantial amount of time.
Here are my suggestions:
1) Make sure you have been sober at least one year before engaging in any relationships. That is usually the standard practice in most 12-step programs. Having that much time under your belt will allow you to deal with the drama of being in a relationship. There is no guarantee that your next relationship won't be rocky at times, so be sure you are capable of dealing with its ups and downs.
2) You are a stronger, wiser person than you were when you were with those previous relationships. In your unenlightened state you probably gravitated to poor choices in mates. Perhaps they provided drugs or you overlooked certain character flaws since they were involved in your previous lifestyle. Today you sound more aware in what makes a good relationship and thus you'll be less likely to settle for half-baked men.
In seeking out a mate, look in places where good guys are likely to be. There could be a good man in one of your 12-step programs. Try some community events or even a dating site. Also, be sure that you are the person that good guys want to be with... often times we attract people mirror ourselves.
Eventually, as the relationships ages and your trust grows, your fears of being mistreated and abused will subside and you'll find the relationship that you've always dreamed of. Many people find love and companionship at all ages in their lives and there is no reason why you shouldn't have that experience as well.
Eddie
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2013): There is no guarantee that someone won't become abusive unfortunately. The only thing you can do is to leave the relationship at the first signs of this. Always have a way out. If you haven't had counseling you could try that to avoid getting into another bad relationship. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, hardnut +, writes (5 March 2013):
get your self out there and meet men. From bars to churches, there are single men of many ages who would enjoy you.
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