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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I'm a virgin and my boyfriend really wants to have sex. I really want to, but I'm afraid it will ruin our relationship or something like that. How do I know he is the right person to do it with? I feel like I have waited a long time and I do love him, but I don't want to regret. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, lamy2006  +, writes (10 August 2010):
Yes, it will. When sex gets involved in a relationship it changes everything usually for the worst. If you give him your virginity, then you will worry about him leaving you after. That will cause you to feel insecure. That will force you to invest more into the relationship knowing that you have more to lose than him.
Virginity is a very precious proud you have. Something most young girls don't have and you will regret it lest you give it away not to your husband. Think of how special your wedding night could be if you just hold on to it. No sexual regrets, no husband questioning about your ex sexual partner. Most guys who are looking to marry a virgin are less likely to cheat on you. I'm 25 and virgin and to be honest I've turned down many girls just due to the fact that they're not virgins. I never one day think about the possibility of marrying a girl who's not a virgin- too many dramas like my ex did it better. And the possibility of going back to an ex after marriage. Keep your virginity!!!
A
female
reader, cheekyme  +, writes (9 August 2010):
 Really Id say, how long have you been with him, more than a few months, or just a couple of weeks ?
If its more than a few months, then he cant be with you for just sex, why would he wait so long, when he can go out here and pick an easy slag that will drop her pants before he even has to ask her name. If its only been a week or so, he therefore may be using you. However he may not be also he could just really be into sex, or gettin that much closer to you.
I made my boyfriend wait 4 and a half months before i had sex, i was also a virgin, and he waited patiently never forcing me into anything! And were still going strong after 17 months.
How ever i also no some one who had sex with there boyfriend after a week, she was also a virgin before, but there still doing well too.
If you are not sure honey, just wait. Make him wait longer and if he will be patient then you no you have a decent guy, wait till you are 100% ready, and there are no doubts left in your mind. You can NEVER really be sure you have the right guy, alot happens throughout life, you may sleep with 10 people before you decide you have found the right guy, that sounds bad but, thats the way life is.
Wait hun, wait longer becase once its happened there no going back. Regret s a treeible thing, so never put yourself in a situation you may regret.
Hope i helped. Take care xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): Okay, well if you love each other, then I say go for it. IF he is pressuring you, then don't. Sex only strengthens relationships unless you are doing it for the wrong reasons.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): What *relationship* are you talking about? Lust is not love.
Want proof? Tell him you're waiting until marriage, and see him disappear in a flash before you even finish the sentence
(unless he is a patient manipulator, that is).
Save it for your husband, you won't regret it. Not to mention that in a world of sex-driven zombies, abstinence until marriage builds your *character*.
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A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (9 August 2010):
 So your boyfriend wants to have sex, and he is pressuring you into having sex as obviously this is not your doing or your decision as you aren't sure he is the one and you are afraid of regretting it.
You feel you have waited a long time and this is just the next step in your relationship and you are afraid it will ruin it or something.
Well, let me tell you if you are 16 you haven't waited a long time and this isn't just the next step, it's a life changing mistake. I have t=shirts older than you, so you haven't' been waiting a long time for anything let alone sex with this bozo.
Let's take a look at him. He's a kid, he's 16 or 17, he is a hormonal teenage boy that is pressured by his peers to lose his virginity, he is thinking about sex about every two seconds, he will say and do anything to have sex with you including telling you that he loves you. But what does that really mean? He's a boy. He's incapable of giving you what you want and delivering on your expectations of romance and happily ever after. Should you fall pregnant he has no resources or skills or ability to care for you and the child and in fact becoming a father at his age will ruin his life and thwart his chances for achieving his financial and career success. He has no intentions right now for you past next weekend...he's a kid and at last so are you.
Is having sex at your age worth the risks? Do you know that being under the age of 21 puts you at a very high risk of contracting HPV a common human virus that can live under your boyfriend's fingernails? Did you know that you can get the virus from oral to genital and genital to genital contact and that condoms do not protect against contracting the virus. Did you know the virus can lead to oral, anal and cervical cancers which can be FATAL. Did you know that you can get the virus from ONE instance of sex, not because you have multiple partners or have promiscous sex? Did you know that you can get pregnant the very first time you have sex or if you have sex during your period let alone other times?
Do you know how expensive a baby really is?
It is up to you of course, but you have PLENTY of time to be an adult and have sex, you have plenty of time to grow into maturity where you can handle the consequences of sex and you have plenty of time to meet and fall in love with the right man, not a boy like your current fella.
He's a horney teenager, what do you think he really wants and why is he pressuring you? He may not be able to help himself but that doesn't make his words genuine. He wants sex. Why should you be the one to give it to him? You don't owe him your life do you?
Love yourself enough to say no and to wait until you are in the right place in life and with the right person and in the right age group to go forth in the world as a fully functioning adult. You aren't there yet. Sex is for grownups, not kids.
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A
female
reader, blawndie +, writes (9 August 2010):
 i was also a virgin and my boyfriend wasn't.. it was hard for me as well, mind you i was a little older.. (i was 19) not 16/17.. my main fear was that he would have sex with me and then just not want to be with me afterwards.. you guys should just talk about it, what you're thinking, what he's thinking. tell him your fears. you won't regret it if it feels right and you're 100% comfortable.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): It is a wonderful thing to be in love, and to really want to have sex with your special man. And that is the key... YOU really want to. You have waited, you know he loves and respects you, and you want to share that together.
If your boyfriend loves and respects you now, he will not stop loving and respecting you because you have sex. But if he doesn't, it will never make him love you... but you knew that.
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