A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:[Mod Note - OP's own title]my ex is a deadbeat daddy. we dated for 2 and a half years and the day i told him i was pregnant, he left me and said he didnt love me. he has never called, he blocked me on every internet thing and even changed his number. the few times we had spoken before he said he wanted the baby but hated me. he never provided me any emotional support, never took me to a dr.s appointment, said he never loved me, insulted me, his parents called me a gold digger and now i moved to USA and he doesnt even plan on being there at birth. my question is, why does he say that he wants to meet the baby and be there for the baby and then hurts me so much and disapears? why does he say one thing and act another? im between loving and hating him. at some moment he was everything to me but when my apartment burned down he didnt even ask how i was doing! my family doesnt want him involved with the baby and honestly, im scared he's gonna be a ghost daddy and will hurt my son/daughter emotionally.im due in just 2 months. it breaks my heart everyday that passes and i dont even get an email. i feel lonely and hurt. all he does is party and watch porn. he doesnt work and i think he dropped off college. he's 26 and his parents send him money every month which is spent on porn and drugs- not baby stuff or even helping me. my apartment burned down 2 weeks ago and i lost almost everything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni am a us citizen, he is not. he has a visa though. he lives in a random far away country. i have a safe place to stay in the meantime while i find another apartment. i dont want money from him if that means i will have to deal with his disrespect. i know babies can be expensive but i am capable of dealing with it
A
female
reader, OhGetReal +, writes (9 August 2010):
 Yeah, I am confused on where this baby daddy lives and if you are a US citizen. I am guessing that he is a US citizen and you moved to the US to be near him? So you don't have family here or anyone to support you at the birth?
I think you need to put this whole thing with your ex on the backburner and stop contacting him. You need to avoid stress and get through the pregnancy so as not to cause complications for you and the baby. If he is not at the birth, then his name will not go on the birth certificate as the father. Enlist the help of a family member to make arrangements for someone to be here to help you after the baby is born, you're gonna need it.
Then you can start contacting an attorney to see what your rights are and to see if you want to ask him to give up all parental rights, doing so means that you will not get financial support from him in the form of court ordered child support.
He isn't worth your emotions and worrying about what he is currently doing or not doing. He sounds like a complete loser anyone doing drugs is not fit to be in a relationship or to be a DAD in the first place.
If you can, I would suggest later moving back to your own country where you have family support...as you have your parent's grandchild now and they are going to want to be there for you and their grandchild more than likely.
I am sorry this is such a mess for you, and hope all goes well with the baby and you.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni'm actually 21, my profile has the wrong age and i cant change it. but yeah to me a father is there for the mom and the baby before the baby is born. he hasnt been there so yeah, in my opinion he's a deadbeat daddy. i dont wish to be involved with him anymore on a relationship but i am considering how he would work out with his child... i mean i just dont trust him being there for my baby
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