| A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I'm 26, not exactly a teen anymore, and my gf is 24, we've been dating for year and a half now.She recently started a new job 3 months ago.But shes been acting really distant the last few days,shes been dressing up really nice,hardly calls me or lets me know whenshes online for IM chat or texts me. Last week i found a text message on her phone asking this guy,who is a co-worker,to invite her on IM chat,i didnt think anything of it, and she invited him on Facebook.Nownormally,because its a weeknight,she doesnt chat long on IM because its work in themorning.But this past 3 days,she hasnt let me know shesonline,when i logon,shes already online, and shes been chatting till past midnight, and she takes long to reply to me, and when she does,its short and abrupt.2 nights ago she was online tillmidnight,then said shes tired,shes going to go sleep, so she logged off,but i didnt.An hour later she logged on again, and said its too hot she cant sleep,so she thought she'd see whosonline.Once again she wasabrupt and delayed whenreplying, an hour later she said goodnite again, and logged off,i found this very suspicious.The next morning i logged into herfacebook account,because ihave her password, and sheknows.I then checked her inbox and found these message fromher to him, "hey stranger, why do u ignore me when im around,have i done something wrong?" He replied,"what do u meanignore u?" she then replied,"coz u dont hug me anymore, and i have a name, u can greet, and dont post messages on my wall, ratherinbox me so the bf dont see,miss u".Needless to say i was furious at this,phoned her up and demanded an explanation and that she should remove his number and all texts from herphone,she agreed to do so.That afternoon i went to her to find out whats going on,she said we're just friends, she says 'miss u' to everybody.Then i checked her phone and found amessage from her to him saying,"let me know when youre online,wanna ask you some questions,im tired, cant wait up anymore",i then asked her,is that whyu logged on so late the pastfew nights,she denied it and said she really was tired. I then asked her what questions do u want to ask him,she said work related stuff,i said u can ask him that at work then,she thendidnt wanna tell me.Then ilooked at her call log and contact list to see if his number was still on the phone, she said its all gone, i can check.But then i found about 10 outgoing missed calls to his number,which was now saved under a different name,after i told her to get rid of it.I then ask if something hadhappend between them,shesaid nothing has or is going to happen or is going on between them, because shes with me and that she'll never leave me.I then asked her so what is yourfascination with this guy, do u like his attention or hisflirtation,she then said yes she does, and that she had developed some feelings for him.I then told her to stop all contact with this guy,otherwise we are done.She then said she needs time to think about wots going on,i told her she has until tomorow to think about it.The next day i went to her place to find out what the verdict was,she said shes with me and shes no longer in contact with him.4 days later she came over to my place,while she was in the bathroom I went through her phone again, and found 2 text messages sent to him.The 1st one said "my boyfriend gave me an ultimatum,he does alot for me and baby,so we can only be friends,still gonna dress sexy though". The 2nd message read, "hey what you gonna buy me for lunch,or can i have you,lol,i wish,or you gonna make my wish come true? There was no reply from him.That message sent me over the edge and i lost it,i screamed at her and told her to get the EF out of my room and out of my life,i put all her stuff in a bag and threw the bag down the hallway and told her she can have that other guy because i dont want her anymore.She then started crying and pulling me, saying shes really sorry and that nothing happend between them.She kept pulling me back into the room while i was cursing her,i got so angry i raised my hand at her to smack her,but i didnt.She then immediately backed away.I then took her home,she neva said a word in the car.Im now confused,dont know what to do,should i give he another chance or let her go.Because she has a 2 year old daughter that ive known since she was born, and we are very close.What effect would it have on her child if we split up? I believe her though when she says nothing happendbetween them.
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at work, co-worker, facebook, split up, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Auntie E  +, writes (21 March 2010):
 GF sounds very immature and is apparently not getting enough attention. She says nothing happened which is probably true up to this point but this guy at work clearly wants to get in her pants and she loves the attention she is getting from him - she she is on a very slippery slope here. I see nothing but chaos and drama with her. Is this what you want?
Is this question really about her baby? You had every right to have the reaction that you did. You displayed remarkable restraint in not slapping her - this tells me you are a real man. Find a girl who appreciates you because clearly your current one does not.
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