A
male
age
30-35,
*hriselamor
writes:hey, i have a problem with my ex.....We started our relationship april 2009...we both fell in love in a very short time...but i broke up with her over the summer because i was a jerk i made up a lie and we broke up i told her i was leaving back to my mothers country and not coming back it was an excuse to break up.i dont know what i was thinking i did and still love her.well i did go to my mothers country but only for vacation i came back a few weeks later. she saw me in school and she still loved me but i was still a jerk to her so i comletely ignored her feelings and you can say i moved on.. i had another girlfriend after her on aguest 2009 which didnt work out because i was treated the same way i treated my ex..that relationship ended november 2009..so i stayed single until may 2010 and my ex the one that still loved me, still loved me, so we got back together but again i was a jerk and ignored her so i didnt notice that she was getting hurt and at the same time moving on and she did....we got back together only for two weeks..when she broke up with me i acted as if i didnt care two weeks later she has a new boyfriend she tells me she loves him...and thats when i realized how much i truely love her..i know a bit late..so i tell her to break up with him..she literly explodes with me she curses at me something she never ever did saying how much it hurted her when i ignored her.. i tell her im sorry for everything i tell her that this time it will be different bt she says no..i tried calling her she would pick up but not wanting to talk to me..so i guess i annoyed her for a bit ...some weeks went by on our high school prom came and her new boyfriend didnt go so i thought it would be a perfect time for me..she would ask me if i was going and i would say no because im not going with you she would say go with your friends....well i did go as soon as i got to the place where prom was our tables were next to eachother..i started talking with her we had a nice 10 mins. we took pictures and laugh but her boyfriend's friend came and took her away from me and after that she changed her attitude she ignored me everytime i wanted to talk with her she would just look away...we dance once..when the slow songs were played i took her out to dance she did get up and danced but not for long...when prom finished and we went home we started texting ...she wrote in one of her texts "i wanted to kiss you, but i cant do that", and also "i cant love you" so then i just gave her some space.some time later we text and she wrote "i dont think i can live without him" which hurt me but i do deserve all the pain im feeling.. recently she texts me saying that she couldnt sleep so her boyfriend sang for her..something i cant do..and she tells me to sing for her too..i tell her please dont make do that i cant sing, but she tells me just do it so i did it i dont know how it i sang i guess it was bad because we started talking she tells me that she thinks shes falling out of love with her boyfriend i ask her why she says she dont know we talk for about an hour a little less... she was very depressed.. i was shocked because i was wondering why she was talking to me and not her boyfriend to make her feel better...she tells me that she hates me for making her feel better..she makes me promise that i wont lose contact with her that i will not leave her again no matter what happens she tells me that she wants me to be her best friend i tell her that i want to be with her and best friend will have to do...at first she kinda hated me but now shes kind to mei dont understand her my question is will i get a third chance?does she still love me?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, RB92  +, writes (10 July 2010):
Shall start off by apologizing for how long its taken to respond to your answer - particularly since your situation may have changed by now.
Based on what you've written however, I think shes confused about how she feels and how she believes she should be feeling. As you comment (and I appalaude your honesty) you treated her badly and took her for granteed, and she knows she deserves a lot better than that. Unfortunately for you, you've begun treating her a lot better just a little too late and unless you continue to do this you won't get this 3rd chance.
Girls change their minds constantly because their emotions change a lot more than mens do. This is generally because we are more sensitive. If she suffers from depression or is just depressed at the moment (I couldn't work it out from what you've written) then this isn't going to help. In order to combat this, you need to make your mind up on what YOU want as opposed to what she wants. If you want to get back together, you have to be there for her as a friend and rebuild your trust in her. At the end of the day, through your lies about moving away, shes scared about losing you. If you can't do this then this might be a time for you to move on and find someone else, but make it clear you're doing so. There is no reason however for you not to be friends. You have been through a lot and it seems like she wants at least a friendship with you.
Message me if your situation has indeed changed and you want some more help.
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