A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Okay, I love my current boyfriend, he is super sweet and so kind to me, he's my best friend, and I'd do anything for him. We were good friends for about a year before we dated, and then randomly started going out. The problem is I barely ever lust after him, is this a problem? I mean, every once in a while I'll get those feelings, but for the most part I never have those feelings where I just want to pounce him. I've been in a couple lustful relationships so maybe this relationship is just different so it scares me?Or could it be that he never gives me time to lust him because when we aren't at school together he likes to talk to me on the phone like 3-5 times a day while also texting in between, and while we are at school he likes to visit me like 5 times a day with texting and talking online in between?What are your opinions on this situation?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 October 2009):
Break up with him face to face. It's the nicest way to be honest.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI kind of figured I would need to break up with him, but I just wanted to hear what outside people thought. Do I break up with him over the phone, or do I wait and go down to visit him this weekend and do it then?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 October 2009):
It sounds to me like you feel this way because you're not spending enough time together. But let's face it, if you wait a week to see him, then don't want to jump on him, the relationship is starting to go wrong. You need love and lust. Not just one. I think it sounds like it's time to move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo maybe our situation is a bit more complicated than i explained. we're not just like most couples who date and are 15-20 min down the road and can hang out whenever, we live 2.5 hrs from each other. We both work full time when not in school, so the only time we can see each other is on the weekends. We've been going out for 10 months now, and 7 of them have been long distance. The other 3 months we were at school together living down the hall.
Maybe I just overreact about this stuff because we don't see each other more often and its just hard to be apart so I get frustrated and that makes me loose lustful feelings?
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 October 2009):
Well, it could be the 'nice guy thing'. The problem is, he's a nice guy, but he doesn't make your blood run wild. This happens to nice guys because we don't always come across as exciting. We're the 'safe' bet. If you don't want to pounce on him, try spending more time together and getting to know each other more. If after that you still don't feel like pouncing, then it could be that he's more like a friend or brother, and you'd be better setting him free to find someone who will be wild for him. Couples need to lust after each other AND love each other. One without the other isn't enough.
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