A
female
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*anna
writes:When I was 21 I had to make the most difficult decision of my life, to have an abortion. Myself and my partner have been trying for a baby for over a year. Because I haven't conceived yet, we are both blaming ourselves as he suspects he maybe sterile and I suspect my abortion was my only chance to ever be a mother. Please help???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008): Go to the Doctors to get checked, but remember when you stop trying for a baby that's when it usually happens. People may disagree but I know alot of people who have become pregnant this way, they became so fed up with worrying and trying for a baby they let nature take it's course and it worked :).
A
female
reader, happy9497  +, writes (22 January 2008):
yes I agree with all answers. if the abortion went ok with no complications then there no reason y u can't. I've experienced this as well and had a beautiful baby boy 3 years later. stop trying so much and just have sex for fun without the thought of trying and see what happens you will be amazed. if you MUST, go on babycenter.com they have a pregnancy schedule on how to get pregnant,the best times, things you can do etc. try all possibilities b4 going to specialists cuz it just may be timing, I have faith in your eggs so don't be discouraged as you have read, we too have experienced what you have and we all have had child/children after the fact so keep your head up,pray and keep it moving and you will soon be that mom you wanna be! Good Luck! :-)
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female
reader, shadowcat +, writes (22 January 2008):
 Don't worry too much; I doubt you are sterile.
My own grandmother was pregnant nine times: 3 were miscarriages, one died at birth....and the other five were healthy, fat, baby boys (including my father.) This was all in a time when prenatal care was almost unheard of, so you draw conclusions from the rest of it!!
My best advice would be to schedule some time with an OB/GYN or for your husband to see a urologist (a GP is a second best thing, but if a urologist is not possible see him.) The good doctors can probably tell you what is going on "under the hood" and what steps to take next. The OB/GYN will probably help you calculate when you're ovulating, examine you for scarring (if you mention your concerns about the abortion he may do this anyway just to be safe) and examine your hormone levels with a blood test. Your husband will likely be, erm, given some "inspiration" to check his sperm count to make sure everything works down there. (The doctor will also probably ask about some of his habits, like if he smokes.) Once that is accomplished, you will know for sure if you are going to have trouble conceiving and if the answer is no, my other piece of advice would be that it is time for a vacation to somewhere tropical. (The Virgin Islands are lovely at this time of year.) Go, make love to your husband and enjoy a pina colada-it will be worth it.
PS-If your husband is wearing y-fronts, it is time to discard them. If there is one thing I do know about human conception it is that sperm production goes up if the man is wearing boxers (sperm likes cooler temperatures.)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2008): I had an abortion at the age of 17. Got married at 18 tried for a child at the age of 20 and finally had my first at the age of 22, then a second at 24, then a third at 39! You will be fine, just stop trying and bet that lovely baby will yours in the future. Get your body checked out at the doctors though, just to make sure. But i dont know of anyone who has become sterile after having an abortion.
take care and let us all know when you fall pregnant.
xx
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A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (19 January 2008):
 Hi there,
I had an abortion at 24 and then went on to have children at 34 years old. It took me two years to conceive naturally and I was also worried about the abortion being the reason I wasn't conceiving, but it wasn't it sometimes just takes time. A doctor I went to said the average couple does take 2 years to conceive so I wouldn't start to worry yet. I would give it a bit longer and have lots of sex, sometimes people just don't do it enough at all times of your cycle. And remember try to RELAX which i know is easier said then done.
I wish you well and fingers x it happens soon.,
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A
male
reader, Dr. John +, writes (19 January 2008):
 If nothing went wrong during the abortion then you should have no problem conceiving again.
The human body is so remarkable because you don't need to do anything to make your body ready to carry a life to full term.
However, you can prevent pregnancy by various things.
No, I don't mean, in this case birth control, but by stress or some kinds of illnesses non related.
Your body's ph balance is self regulated as well as the proper horemone levels and of course the uturus is maintained at the perfect temperature to support a new life.
As I said before certain stresses can upset the body's hormone and ph balances, so if you don't conceive right away you worry, then it throws off those balances further.
You then have a vicious circle.
Try to relax and not worry so much about it. Let it happen, don't try to make it happen.
You might also obtain a basal thermometer which will tell you when you are actually ovulating telling you when the best time is to conceive.
I have recommended this method to several who have had a good rate of success.
Although these thermometers usually come with a chart, I am also providing a link to some tips for using a basal thermometer.
I wish you much success. Doc
http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/basal-thermometer.html
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A
male
reader, Asexy +, writes (19 January 2008):
 Relax. They won't even refer you to the infertility department until you've been trying for more than a year. Sometimes it just takes time. And there are so many cases of folk who chose to adopt only to relax and get pregnant. Don't wind yourself up.
If you're younger than 35, continue trying until the year is up, then talk to your doc. A female friend of mine was put on clomid after a year of trying and conceived that first month out. There are a TON of reasons, most of them tiny.
Breathe. Keep trying. Enjoy the "practice." And good luck.
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (18 January 2008):
This is primarily a medical question. Most of us do not have the training, and none of us have the in-person observations or tests to give you an accurate answer. Please consult your doctor. A physician can find (or rule out) some potentially serious causes in short order.
After my wife & I lost our first child to birth complications it took over a year (after getting the OK from her doctor) to start another baby. During that time she had many of the same thoughts about "I missed my only chance to be a mother.", etc. The monthly disappointment strained a relationship already stressed by grief and recovery from an emergency C-section.
There was some counseling, education about detecting a woman's fertile time, discussions about adoption or fertility treatments, and cutting back to sex every other day (supposedly to increase my potency). Eventually we got pregnant - and twice after that. It may have been related to some of the things we did, or just that she stopped being so obsessed with getting pregnant. I happen to believe it was just the way God, or nature, or statistics, (or whatever you happen to believe runs the universe), worked for us at that time.
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A
male
reader, dapone 1 +, writes (18 January 2008):
 Hi Hanna.
If you think one or the other may be infertile you may both make an appointment to see your GP who after test will give you the result and that will give you peace of mind, however some times it take some people a little more time to conceive than others, my ex and i took over 18 month to finally produce a wonderful baby girl, we had all the fears that you have right now, we after seeing the Dr knew we were both healthy, but it still had taken us another 12month before the birth, it was wonderful, so try not to worry either of you because if you are both stressed out this may delay your chances.
I wish you all the best and keep us informed of your progress, good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): Hi, I would suggest that you get checked out by a doctor carefully, if you can afford to do so.
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female
reader, IntoxicatingLastBreath +, writes (18 January 2008):
 Oh my God I'm so sorry! :(
Try not to panic too much and if you really think he could be sterile then go to a doctor or a health / sex clinic and get both of you checked out.
He may just have 'lazy' sperm though so don't worry, it'll take a lot of time and patience in that case for you to concieve a child together.
Just wait a little while longer if you can, if still nothing then really do get both of you checked out.
It's the best option there is, and it may ease your minds.
Feel free to contact me at any time.
~Krissy [x]
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