A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:can anyone tell me if you can eva truley get over depression?i started dating my now husband when i was 14,i had been sexually active b4 i got with him but was cheated on by every one of them.After trying for 5yrs to get pregnant (i have polycystic overies)i finally did and my husband and i were thrilled.My husband decided he wanted to move (150miles away from my family and friends) but i agreed as i wanted to be with him.Thats when things went wrong!i was lonely cause i was living in a strange place,and didnt know anyone.i was 20 at the time and 3months pregnant.my husband got a job and made a few friends,he became distant and stopped confiding in me,starting lying bout things and bout where he was going.He got friendly with a girl from work, when i asked him bout it he said she was like a sister to him!i developed diabetes in the pregnancy and had to inject daily which was scary time 4me,my husband was not supportive.a few months later our son was born.2wks later we got married,2wks after that my father passed away who i was very close to.i took it bad and got very depressed.i put on loads of weight and couldn't stop crying.i had councelling but it didn't really help.My husband did not support me at all,told me i was mad!a few weeks later there was another incident of my husband getting 'friendly' with another girl and lied to me bout meeting her.5yrs on im still having councelling,still putting on weight and crying alot.we don't make love very often and when we do he makes no effort at all,it's left down to me.he has been masturbating alot instead of making love to me. ive nearly ended my marriage many times as my husband gets very impatient with me and has been violent with me but i think if i leave him then id have no where to go and no one else would want 2b with me because of my size and the depression. will i always feel like this? do u really eva get over being depressed?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2007): You will always feel this way if your living conditions dont change or improve. You deserve to be happy, you deserve a wonderful marriage, there are people out there who an help you, get back in touch with your family and friends, they come in handy when it comes to getting through those tough times.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (15 May 2007):
 Oh you poor thing,
You have had an awfull lot to deal with, no wonder you are depressed.
The good news. yes you can get over depression, but it takes lots of will from you, which at the moment you may not be able to deal with.
I never suggest that drugs are the answer, but I think a visit to your doctor could help you on your way to recovery.
Your lack of confidence must be at an all time low, so try to do something to get this back.
You say you are over-weight, why not join a gym, swimming club, salsa lessons. Anything that will get you out meeting people, and get you fit. I know its hard at first, but it will help you I promise. Then you could go to a slimming club, and start to eat more healthy.
I know its easy for me to say this, and not so easy for you to do, but if you knew me, I can tell you i have been in your shoes. And plucking up the courage to get your life kick started again is an amazing and wonderfull feeling.
Your husband is taking you for granted, and picking on you, while you are down. He is utterly Despicable, but you are allowing this to happen. And so, unless you do something about it, it will carry on. Can't you go and stay with family untill you are sorted out, and feel better.
As for your last comment, no one will want you because of your size. Thats rubbish.
Of course there are Guys that like slim women, but there are also a lot of Guys who dont care what size you are. Atracting a partner is all about confidence and not your size.
Thats what you need to tackle first, and the rest will fall into place.
I did laugh at the masterbation comment, you will to one day when you think back.
(sounds like a right Wan***, he,he.
Take care Honey XXX
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A
female
reader, gf123 +, writes (15 May 2007):
 YES!! I really want to stress that you CAN get over depression. I know this from personal experience. I suffered from very serious clinical depression several years ago but by making changes in my life I have become happy, content and successful at what I do.
Having counselling and talking to others about your problems can help to a certain extent because it encourages you to think about how you can deal with things. The turning point for me came when I realised that I had to follow this up with my own action. I would suggest that this is what you now need to do.
I would always encourage women to leave violent partners and, from what you have said, this is very much in your mind. I know it's terrifying having to make a leap of faith and set up on your own again but if you feel that you are depressed because of this relationship then this is what you must do.
Do you have any family or friends you could go and stay with temporarily and do you have a job which would enable you to support yourself? An occupation could give you a sense of worth along with relieving the fear you have about leaving your husband.
For your own health, please consider taking that next brave step. Best of luck
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