A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have made the worst mistake of my life. I cheated on the love of my life. We have been together for 3 years and married for 6 months. I feel so guilty. Especially since in the beginning of our relationship we went to therapy because I caught him carrying on in his past relationships, it wasn't a physical affair, but he was leading on the other women emotionally as if he was going to carry on a future relationship with them. Long story short, I blamed him for so much and could never understand why he would do such a thing to me. The therapy helped and I forgave him, but now the shoe is on the other foot.Our relationship has been great since we've been married until he left for his deployment about 3 months ago. I've been trying to deal with him being away, but it is much harder than I anticipated. This past month without him has driven me insane and now with what I did I feel like hell. It was a one night stand with someone from another country. I have never done this before. I dont know what I was thinking. I was out with people I shouldn't of been with since they're living the single life and I drink so much I was just out of control. I feel so ashamed. I never thought I would do such a terrible thing. I don't know how to pick up the pieces. I can't possibly bring myself to tell him, he has enough to worry about overseas. But how do I make this right? I've made an appointment with a therapist. Will I ever be able to save our relationship and myself from this horrible mistake? It feels like I can never look at myself the same. I've hit rock bottom. Any advice?
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 January 2010):
I'm sad to say that this really doesn't look good for your marriage at all. However, it's something that if you want to fix, you can. The moment he was away you felt so lonely that you had a fling. That says to me that you're not going to be able to handle this marriage unless you put a huge amount of effort in and spend time on yourself with friends while he's away. So I think that the therapist is a good idea, because they can suggest what to do. Find something to fill your time with.
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