A
female
age
30-35,
*eXylOvE12
writes:Ok, I tend to be a sexually "dominant" person in bed. I like control in the bedroom. It's a lot of fun and a turn on for me. However, I do like to be challenged with man-handling and all things that come along with male domination (minus demeaning talk). Basically, i really like it when a guy takes control over my usually domineering ways.Don't get me wrong, I'm not always dominant in bed. My bf and i have a lot of romantic, sensual sex too.But the problem is, my bf is way too laid back and insecure about his abilities(i think). (To the point that if I don't initiate it, it doesn't happen) Whenever I ask him what he wants me to do or what position he likes or wants he just says that he doesn't care and that he likes everything that we do. He literally will not choose. Sometimes I just want him to man up and tell me how he wants me and how to give it to him. It's a turn on for me to hear things like this.I know that he wants me, but it's always encouraging when a guy grabs you and pulls you against him, basically letting you know he can't get enough of you.I was more experienced than he was coming in to the relationship and i think that was very intimidating for him. Now, though, we've been dating a while and that shouldn't be much of an issue. He's told me that it's a turn on for him for me to take control and show him how much i want him. And i really just want the same thing. I've told him before that i wish he would take control and initiate things. (when i say things i mean pretty much anything past kissing) He says that he needs to hear my opinions and what i like otherwise he doesn't like to do it. I've told him that i would like anything he does with me. After i told him that he said that he was going to "unleash the beast." He says that he knows he has it in him to do so.That was about a month ago, and so far, nothing. I'm not sure if i should bring it up again. Is this just his sex style? Will he ever come out of his shell? What more can i do, if anything? I don't know what else i could do to encourage him.
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female
reader, SeXylOvE12 +, writes (27 January 2010):
SeXylOvE12 is verified as being by the original poster of the question haha handcuffs are a good idea! I never thought about that!
A
female
reader, donnadonut  +, writes (26 January 2010):
First off i cant help but notice when you ask him what he wants he says he likes everything you do and you accuse him of not being able to choose. Then when he asks you - you say anything??
He probably doesnt know where to start, and maybe he does still feel intimidated?
I think you should suggestively hint about "the beast" and see if he acts on it. Maybe introduce some handcuffs so he has no option but to take control if your cuffed!!
If none of these work, try talking about it again and again and again until he gets it!! :)
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