A
female
age
36-40,
*oddy2Shoes
writes:Dear Cupid,I am 22 years old with my BS in Criminal Justice. When I was 18 i worked for a Police Department and now currently work for another department. My parents have always been pretty strict with me, which has alot to do with my success. The city I grew up in is not the greatest, having attended school with all the kids in the neighborhood I became very good friends with most of them. Needless to say most of them fell into the criminal lifestyle. Even my bestfriend fell into bad steps. He and I have been best friends since we were 11 years old. When he was 16 he went to juvenile hall, and when he was 18 he served 2 years in state prison. While he was serving time he and I remained as best friends. Once he came out we would still go out and spend time together. By this time i was almost done with college. Fast forward 2 years he and I have fallen head over heels for each other. We get along great, and he treats me like his queen. Weve been together for almost one year and he is no longer the "bad guy" he used to be. Lets say he has really turned his life around. Having been in really bad relationships before, I really appreciate this one. It is very different and actually filled with love,respect and trust. I think it has alot to do with the fact that we been best friends for years! The problem is that he is a guy with 2 strikes, and Im the girl who had goals in life and will get to them. And altough he has really changed, and trust me when i say he really made a change for the best, I am scared that due to his record we will have diffuculties late in life. I am really confused, my father keeps telling me that i need to really think about my relationship with him because his record will haunt me. Is that true? I really love him and i know he loves me, i would hate to loose him as my boyfriend and my chances of being his wife one day. Will his record really sabtoage everything ive worked hard for?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (29 November 2009):
Unless he's on some kind of sex offenders register then I don't see how it will be a problem.
You parents clearly want the best for you and have worked hard to make that happen. (It's not nice to have to be strict to your kids when you just want to give them everything.)
Think about this from his perspective. Rather than be the cuddly loving day who can just relax, he's has to be hard on you to keep you from going bad. It must have been a worry as you admit most of your friends could have been a bad influence on you.
So now after all that, you've gone and fallen for a guy who's not just a bit rough around the edges, but has been to prison.
He wanted you to have the best, and meet some other great guy with a great future ahead of him.
Your guy may have changed but your dad has to have his doubts about that and so he's trying to prepare you for the worst by putting you off him in advance.
Bring your boyfriend round and let him get to know your family a bit better. Get him to talk about his ambitions and make your dad see this man could be the straight up providing nice guy he would want his daughter to be with.
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, yussuf +, writes (29 November 2009):
 It's normally for you to have such a question in mind, being that you know what you want and all. From my perspective, i think that he himself knows what's on the line here and the key to this solution is you. he loves you and trust me the thought of him going to jail again and losing you to another guy is enough to put him on check. His record will only sabotage him not you because he's the only one that will be losing here if he dares to get a 3rd strike. The only thing that you might face is a liitle bit of stress and lonliness which will fade in time. So all you should do is focus on making your relationship stay as it is or even better. i hope this helps. Goodluck!
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