A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've just started seeing someone, I like him a lot but I am embarressed because I am almost 28 and have never been in a serious relationship - he wants to talk about past relationships etc but I keep avoiding the questions, do you think he will mind that he is my first proper boyfriend and Ive never had sex or do you think he will think I'm a bit weird?? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): I'm 27 and my boyfriend was my first everything (we met when I had just turned 27). I come from a very strict upbringing in a Catholic family and he is Catholic too so in a way he understood that at 27 I was still a virgin and never had a boyfriend. That's not to say he wasn't surprised to hear it. When we started talking about our past 'relationships' I too became embarrassed and tried to avoid the question. I even lied saying that I had had previous boyfriends but none were serious and that they had never led to sex. You shouldn't have to lie. Be proud. I eventually admitted about the lie, I guess I felt I had to lie because he was a divorcee and had a child and was so much more experienced than I. I didn't have to lie at all. Look, he will think its weird but he'll stick around if he loves you and if he doesn't then it was a good thing he didn't.
A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 Hey! Listen to the Aunts and Uncles - they're spot on here!!
I was 25 when I began dating the man who I would go on to marry...he was my first 'serious'/adult relationship, my first sexual relationship - and it was/is wonderful. If he is a good guy - this issue will be nothing to him OR he will cherish the fact he's your first...you are definately not weird!!
Far too many people are out there are jumping in and out of beds and/or relationships - thinking that is what they should be doing....we are made to feel like we have to "experience" lots of partners, sow wild oats, seek perfection, leave when the going gets tough....look at how many people are on here talking about pressure to have sex, or "complex" histories. It isn;t easy to do what feels right for you sometimes...cause maybe that's not societies idea of "cool"!! I don;t know the reason you haven't entered a relationship sooner....in my case I wasn't "saving myself"...I just hadn't met the right guy. I was also incredibly shy...but when I met my man I knew something was there...I wanted it and so I went for it - I had to step out of my comfort zone that's for sure, but I was open and honest - told him I was a virgin....and then he had fun "exposing" me slowly!!
Don't get stressed out by what he 'might' think....trust your gut and go with it - enjoy the flush of new love!!! Have fun!
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): Lazyguy is exactly right.
...............................
A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 Do me a favor and asnwer the question by lots of other women who think they will never get a boyfriend because they are X years old.
Then read the questions about couples having trouble with the girls past and you got your own answer.
Few men would mind being the first for their woman, yeah yeah double standards but there is reason women still marry in white.
...............................
A
female
reader, LilzDon'tKnow  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 You should be fine Lol. Your stressing out way to much just try to loosen up :)
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2008): You should be so proud of the fact that you have saved yourself. This man should feel honored to be with you. There is nothing to be ashamed of or feel embarrassed about. Wave your flag proudly!!
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 If he has a brain, he won't mind.
...............................
A
male
reader, Devil Spawn  +, writes (26 June 2008):
 LOL, no if he is a smart man he will feel very special. It is not weird or silly, there are lots of reasons people don't get into relationships.
Your still young its not like your 60!. I would be honest with him. If he is a good guy he will understand.
I assume that you have not been with anyone because you have not met the right person. There is no point in dating 100's of people just to say that you have a past.
I think you may find your boy is tickled pink that he is your fist.
Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, happytochat +, writes (26 June 2008):
Hey,
First off, you're not alone. There are other people out there who dont have a huge relationship/sex history.
I know someone who at the age of 25 hadnt ever had a bf, never had sex and not even a first kiss. So you are def not alone!
I have a male friend who is 22 and has never had a proper gf either and hes a virgin as well. So it happens in both males and fmeales.
If your bf is a decent guy he will not care at all!!! There is nothing wrong with not having had a serious bf or had sex before.
If anything, he should feel special that you saw something so great in him that you were able to commit to a relationship with him.
I think that if he knows that you havent had a bunch of bf's and sexual partners, it will make him realise that he must be something great and he should feel honoured. Its much more attractive in my opinoin for a guy or girl to be a virgin and not have had any or many partners, rather then a person who has lots.
I understand its an embarrasing thing to talk about, but I bet once you do, you'll feel relieved. And remmeber if hes a decent guy he wont look down upon you for it! :) So perhaps this a test of his true character.
Take care, hope it all works out.
...............................
A
female
reader, iceprincess422  +, writes (26 June 2008):
who cares wat he thinks.itz ur time to shine with ur very first bf.ENJOY IT!!!!!!!!!!
...............................
|
