A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 28 year old virgin, I've just started seeing a new guy but I am worried that he will judge me and will find it weird. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (17 September 2008):
It is stranger in the UK than in America but it depends a bit on your reason. If you are planning to have no sex before marriage then you might want to tell him as he might not be expecting that.
If you have just been waiting for the right guy but think you might be ready to lose it then just tell him you want to take things slowly and really take your time building up to it. Give him a time frame so after 2 weeks he's not there going "now?" tell him you like to wait a few months / how ever long.
Then when you are ready to take the leap, tell him when you are curled up together being romantic. Tell him that you think he's really special and he's the man you've been waiting for. Then tell him you are a virgin and you want him to be your first.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): If it's a problem for him you shouldn't be losing your virginity to him anyway. People have sex too easily and without emotion - it's pointless. Much better to make love to someone you care about and have a future with.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2008): Some guys might care. But in general we only "judge" virgins because we're annoyed that we won't get any sex from them.
Believe me, there are TONS of men who would KILL to meet a nice 28yo virgin girl. TONS of them. Do not think that your virgin status is some kind of mark against you at this stage. It's absolutely not.
The only men who will think badly of you are the ones who worry that being your first partner might carry too much emotional importance for you. They worry that you'll get hung up over it (and them). But this is not a REAL problem, is it? No. It's just a concern about an imagined possible problem in the future.
Most men only want partners with past sexual experience when it gets them good sex without much work. The kind of girl we like to settle down with is a whole different animal.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (17 September 2008):
 I think the the state of your virginity isn't really a topic that he needs to know for at least a month or two. It isn't something that you should worry about or be embarrassed over either, You should be proud of yourself. If haven't given your virginity away freely then You have obviously placed a high value on yourself and anyone who thinks that it's "weird" probably isn't good boyfriend material or just isn't on the same page as you are with how you value personal intimacy and sexual relationships. Everyone has a different agenda on when they are ready for sex. The man that you finally decide to sleep with should appreciate that you waited for him, Hun. Good Luck! XXX
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A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (17 September 2008):
 Well if he has anything about him...no he won't find it weird; he'll respect you even more and will hopefully take the lead for you ensuring that if you do have sex with him it will be a pleasurable experience for you.
I won't lie and say that all men are like this...you just have to trust that you've picked the right man; and if he is the right man then won't care one bit that you're a virgin.
Take care.
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