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female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I am 16 and my boyfriend is 15. We met when he was 8 and I was 9 at school. We hit it off at school and started doing group things together and then eating lunch together. A year later his parents were looking to move to a new neighborhood. After some searching they ended up moving into the same neighborhood that I and my family live in. This helped our friendship grow. We started spending more time together after school. We would often hang out, watched tv, and do our homework together at one of our houses. It is more fun to work on homework with some one else. We enjoyed fun times during the summers. About two years ago we started doing other things like taking walks in the neighborhood and in parks, and going to the mall together. We enjoy talking and spending time together. A bit later we started holding hands during our walks. About a year ago he asked me if I had ever been kissed. I said no. He said that he thought I was beautiful and would like to. I said he was cute and asked him if he had ever been kissed. He also said no. We then started talking about kissing. About a week later we had our first kiss. We then talked about it and what we liked about it. Since I am 16 and have my license we enjoy other things we do together with me driving the car. We still take our walks together. We often head for a private place in the park and talk, kiss, and make out. We enjoy this time together. About 6 months ago Joe asked me what I thought of sex. It first I thought he was joking in a way boys do. He then he said that he was not and he really wanted to know. This opened up this subject. In later talks we talked about this subject. We both said that we were carious about it and never done it. He said that he wanted me to be his first. At this time I asked my older sister about how to know when sex is right in a relationship. She said that sex is a big step in a relationship and needs trust. He has proved his trust to me. He has said that he feels that we are ready for sex to enter our relationship. He says that he wants it when I am ready and he does not want to push me. He says that he will wait until I am ready. My older sister also said that you have to be able to talk about sex with each other before you know that having it is right. I then thought about a test to see if he was for real. I asked him to read some books about sex and tell me what he thought. After that we started looking at books together. About a month ago we started looking at books that had pictures of sexual positions and talking about them together.I think we are to the place where we are ready to have sex in our relationship. What do you think? We cannot think of reasons why we should not have it. We have not seen each other naked yet. Any information about starting out? We both agree that our first time is special and should not be done in a car. The park is good for making out but not a good place for sex. Where should the first time be? Any information about finding a place and time for sex? When starting out should he come and find me naked or is undressing each other part of the experience that should not be missed? How can we make our first time special? Any information about best positions for first time sex? How can we be sure that it is a way of showing our love for each other and not simply just sex? Joe says that he would like to give me an orgasm. Can this be during the first time? Am I able to help him give me one? How will I know when I am having one? What information do you have about having them? Thanks
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female
reader, Tremor  +, writes (18 September 2008):
 Well, that's a lot of questions! But good on you for finding out what you need to know beforehand.
Whether you are ready for sex or not is completely up to you. Only you and Joe will know when the right time is.
Perhaps you should consider easing yourself into it, as opposed to just taking the plunge. You say you have never seen each other naked - maybe you should take some steps towards this first, to become comfortable with each other's bodies. Take it slow, do some making out without a shirt, that kind of thing. Get to know what the other person likes - all those little spots on the body that turn them on. Maybe experiment with intimate touching or oral sex.
As for /where/, well, it really depends on where you are comfortable. I agree with you in that the car isn't a good place - not for the first time, anyway. You could try in one of your bedrooms, unless that's a bit close to parents for you. Another option is to maybe get a hotel room so you can spend the whole night together - however, this might not gel with your folks, since you are only 16. The where is always a tough call, so I can't offer you much advice there.
I'd say you should definitely undress each other. It helps to build the anticipation, particularly if you do it slowly. I've always been an advocate of doing it in the dark - not to be ashamed of your body, but because I find it heightens your other sense when your sight is limited.
How you make your first time special is again something that depends on you - maybe there's a particular song, a particular smell, a particular place, that is special to you guys. The fact that it's your first time will in itself make it pretty special.
I'd say stick to missionary for your first time (that is, the guy on top). It's generally more comfortable for both of you, and you can move into other positions when you are more experienced.
How can you make sute it's about love and not sex? Hard call, because, well, it IS about sex - hard for it not to be, haha. I think this is another of these things that you will know instinctively. You've been with this lad for (as far as I can calculate - please correct me if I'm wrong) more than a year, so I think it's safe to say it won't /just/ be about sex.
First time orgasms are possible, but only if you know your body and your partners. Most women don't orgasm from penetration alone anyway, so your best bet in regards to that is to look into other methods of stimulation other than just sex - oral sex and fingering, etc etc. And if you have one, you will KNOW. No doubts about it - it's just one of those things.
And of course, it goes without saying - USE A CONDOM, and don't do it if you aren't sure.
Good luck.
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