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female
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anonymous
writes: Will he ever change? I broke up with my emotionally abusive fiance 3 months ago. I recently saw him and he told me that he had changed and how he was going to a therapist. But, I didn't see any change, so I decided not to keep in contact so I could hopefully move on. Anyway, he would say things how he loved me and wanted to work things out with me and said he was very sorry for things he did but that we both did things wrong. He never once admitted to being emotionally abusive or that he would see a therapist to change and win me back. I know that someone has to change because they want to change. But, will he ever change? I know you can't really answer that, but do you think there is hope? He keeps texting me saying how he is sad and asking me why he loves me unconditionally and stuff but I keep ignoring him because I don't want to get hurt all over again.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): Well I guess just the fact that he said that "he was very sorry for things he did but that we both did things wrong" shows that he hasn't changed. The day he takes full blame for all of his mistakes without pointing yours out too, I guess then you will know he has changed.
I mean that's what they do, they try to minimize their mistakes by either making up or blowing out of proportion something you might have done that is completely inconsequential. That takes the focus off of him. So it sounds like he hasn't changed at all and I know you love him but I don't think he ever will change. People like that just don't get it. It's so ingrained in their brain that they don't understand. I don't know why. But its like the previous poster said "HE cant change if he doesnt even know why he is suppose to change." But he'll NEVER get it. So just move on. It's not worth it.
A
female
reader, bqagirl2692  +, writes (18 December 2007):
 I believe that its possible for him to change but you shouldnt risk the chance of getting hurt again. Move on and give love another try with someone who will treat you right and appreciate the love you have to give. Yes maybe he still cares about you but he can not even admit his problem about being abusive. HE cant change if he doesnt even know why he is suppose to change. Keep doing what your doing. Let him go before he manipulates you into getting back with him. You deserve better for yourself. Good luck!
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